Standing Still (beginning)

“Seriously? You have nothing to say?” Meg crossed her arms and looked Andrew dead in the eyes. “What do you want me to say Meg? You have an answer for everything I say. I’m always wrong. Do you think it’s easy to keep a job you can’t stand?” Andrew replied. “A job you can’t stand? You loved it when you started! I can’t keep doing this with you! When you dropped out of college 3 classes short of your English Lit degree, I was on board. You wanted to go to art school, I supported you. You wanted to start your own business and I went every step of the penniless way with you. Then you switch to graphic design, and now you decide that you don’t want to work in graphic design anymore? When does it stop?”
Meg felt exasperated. Meg and Andrew had met in college. Andrew’s former best friend Steve had introduced them and they were instantly drawn to each other. Meg loved Andrew’s passion for everything he did in life and Andrew loved everything about Meg, from her short red hair to the birthmark on her left foot. She had a sharp mind that could serve as a double-edged sword: she was quick with a joke but just as quick to call Andrew out on his flaws. Andrew’s quick intensity that initially attracted Meg was starting to wear her out. He was always changing his hobbies, his plans, and his mind.
“Honestly I feel like I’m enabling you. You know I love you but I just can’t be this crutch for you anymore Andrew. Stand on your own two feet!” Meg yelled.
“See, I’m always wrong with you! Why are you attacking me? I didn’t do anything,” Andrew replied loudly. “That’s exactly my point. You haven’t done anything. What’s so wrong with doing something? Like, say, being an adult for once? All this procrastination. For what? What do you want from your future? What do you want from our future?” Meg said as the tears she held back turned her green eyes glassy. Andrew just stared at the floor silently. “You still have nothing to say? Our future together is on the line and you can’t tell me you want a future with me?” Meg shouted into the silence. Andrew just stared at her blankly. “All these years together were just a waste of my time. Get out,” Meg whispered.
Andrew ran down the stairs feeling angry and confused. What had just happened? He had gone to Meg expecting sympathy for having problems with his job but instead he got a lecture. Worse, it seemed like maybe he had really disappointed Meg for the last time. Walking out of Meg’s building into the crisp autumn air, Andrew zipped up his hoodie and put on his headphones. His life suddenly felt like a blur. He had no idea where he was going to go at this moment, let alone from now on. In a way, he didn’t care. He knew deep down that Meg was right about him; he couldn’t make up his mind about any aspect of the future. What if he committed to the wrong thing? He would feel trapped. He couldn’t take that risk. He knew he wanted Meg, but he wanted her on his own terms and he wasn’t even sure what those terms were. He felt too much pressure from Meg and the world to follow a certain path. He continued down the street. Wherever he was off to, he needed to clear his mind. Andrew looked down at his iPod to search for something to listen to that might stop his head from spinning. Caught in his own thoughts as usual, he never even noticed the car speeding up the street in his direction. The car whizzed past him and nearly hit him.
Andrew felt his heart stop and then start again in double time. His pulse raced and hands shook. All of these encounters today were a little bit too close and too real for his comfort.