It was late Friday evening when Jasmine arrived home from the hair salon. She was in such a rush to get ready. Her girlfriends had convinced her to go out for her birthday with them instead of spending the evening with her boyfriend. Her best friend Nancy was going to meet her at her house to shower because there was no hot water at her house. Jasmine calls Nancy to let her know she could start heading over to her house. She grabs her cell phone and starts dialing. (Ring, ring.) Nancy picks up.
Nancy: Oh yeah? Umm, I got some bad news something is wrong with my car. One of the metal things from the bottom of the car came off.
Jasmine: You mean a pipe?
Nancy: Yeah, yeah that. At first I thought it was just a flat tire but it wasn’t. I’m not going to be able to take the car out. I dropped it off at the mechanic. Do you think you can pick me up at my house or maybe your cousin Rosa can take her truck tonight?
Jasmine: Oh man, that really sucks because I don’t have my car right now. My uncle came to visit us from North Carolina with his family and he asked to borrow my car. He hasn’t come back yet and I'm not sure what time he'll be coming back. I can’t ask Rosa because she said her mom needs the truck.
Nancy: Oh I see… I’m sorry. It’s so weird that out of all nights my car got messed up tonight on your birthday it stops working.
Jasmine: Uhh, let me call my uncle to see what time he is coming back. I’ll give you a call back.
Nancy: Ok bye.
Jasmine: Hey, I don’t think I’m going anywhere tonight. (Sighs) Nancy’s car just broke down so we have no ride.
Jenny: Oh, my uncle will lend me his car so we can use his maxima if you want. But you have to drive because I’m not good with directions.
Jasmine: Really? He won’t mind?
Jenny: No, it’ll be fine.
Jasmine: Ok then I’ll just walk over to your house since you just live two blocks away and we can leave from there.
Jasmine hangs up the phone and calls Nancy to inform her. Then she showers and get dressed. She already knew what she wanted to wear. But she didn’t know shoes to wear. She kept trying on different pairs. By then it was already past 9:30. She finally gave up and put three pairs of shoes in a bag. She left her house and started walking towards Jenny’s house. She calls Jenny to let her know she’s downstairs. Jenny’s not ready yet and tell her to come in and help her decide what to wear.
Jasmine rings the doorbell. (Ding dong) Jenny opens the door and greets her with a hug.
Jenny: Happy birthday! Wow! You look so pretty. I’m such a mess. I don’t know what shoes to wear.
Jasmine: (smiles) Thank you. You look nice too. Yeah, me too I didn’t know what shoes to wear so I brought some in a bag. (They both laugh. Ha ha ha)
Jenny: Let me see what you brought.
Jasmine: I got these black heels but I don’t know. They make my ankles look fat.
Then I got these sandals but everyone is going to be wearing heels. I also have got these beige flats too.
(She puts each one to demostrate)
Jenny: I like the heels. They look nice on you. You should wear those. Now look at my shoes LOL.
Jasmine: Oh you think so?
Jenny: Yeah. They look good.
Jasmine: Oh ok thanks. Oooh those beige heels look really nice. Those are in style right now. (She takes the shoes and examines it.) You have such tiny feet.
Jenny: Then I got these black and beige pumps.
Jasmine: Those look really cute too. But wear the beige ones. I love these. I wish I could fit into them. Now hurry because we have to pick up my cousin and Nancy.
Jasmine: Thank you. You look nice too.
Rosa: Ughh, I’m so annoyed. I tried on a million outfits and I can’t decide which looks better. (Her room had clothes everywhere, on top of the bed and on the floor. There were so many open shoes boxes scattered around.)
Jenny: No, you do look nice you should wear that. That outfit makes you look so slim and sexy.
Jasmine: Yeah, that outfit matches those blue pumps. (She points to the box on the floor.)They look so cute. They look like something Carrie from sex and the city would wear.
Rosa: Really? You are right. I’ll wear those. (She smiles.)
Jasmine: Great. Glad to be at your stylist. LOL. (She turns to Jenny.)
Jasmine: I’m pretty sure Nancy has the same dilemma.
A lot of this could still work well in a format more like that of the comic script. You'll notice though, that it's basically all dialogue and stage direction, and it would be hard to draw the pictures that go along with the text. That said, the dialogue is clear and realistic and strong--you're showing a great deal of strength in that area.
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