“Ahhh that moaning! Dammit it all!” thought Jean as she lounged in her comforter after another shitty day. It was her one abode of hopeful respite, and still the labyrinthine sounds didn’t disappear, contradictory to what she had hoped for.
“Yaa! Yaa!” was all she could hear, in that fucking Czech accent she hated so much. That dirty “Yaa” with its emphasis on the “a”, making it sound like a short o. All of those internal sounds stirred the burning hate and anger inside of Jean’s whole body. “Should have done her in on the spot” she thought to herself. “What would have happened, really? I was just a kid.”
“Yea...Yea…?! You… likey…that!?” she heard him mechanically squeal through each penetration. It was as if he tried to meet the woman in her accent. Jean hated him now, at this moment, as she sat in her comforter and stared at that one picture that showed what she thought were the good times, where her father, who she loved, stood as the hero who she though he was, alongside his ex-wife, Jean’s mother. In fact, she hated all men. Their lustful, selfish ways, ready to stick their dicks into anything that’s got a whole in it. With a deep sigh, odd in its longevity, she thought of him and how he totally fucked up the miserable existence she now called her life. But something more was in that sigh…she couldn’t put her finger on it.
And then, as she sat there and saw both parents smiling back at her through that old, worn frame, both appearing so happy, so sincere, she wondered if such a surreal happiness ever truly existed between them, or for that matter, can ever exist at all. “You’re faking that smile, dad. You’re fucking faking it. You all are just fucking fakers” Jean said out loud to herself, imagining her father, 350 miles away, and all men on earth, who were all most likely asleep, actually heard her. “But you, mom”…and the thoughts drifted away…
“Jeannie-poo, hold my hand tighter! Hold my hand tighter when we cross the street.” Jean’s hand was gripped tightly; it had no room to breath.
“You and daddy are gonna read me a story after, right mommy”, Jean asks innocently, although she already knows the answer to her question. She was a smart girl.
“If I’m not too tired…Mommy had a long day. But I’m sure daddy will, and I’ll join him”. Sweet Jean tries remembering the last time mom was there to read with daddy. She tries to remember the last time mom read to her at all. And distracted by this mental inquiry, Jean trips on a planting shovel clearly left out by Sasha.
“C’mon Jean!” her mom demands, yanking her slow daughter up the steps to that giant front door. “Dam that Sasha. The cunt doesn’t do shit around here” mom muttered under her breath, at a fixed amplitude where she hoped Jean could just faintly hear it, but not loud enough for her to think mommy is mean and could use such language.
While mom shuffles in her pocket book for her house keys, Jean, already free from mommy’s hand, twists the doorknob like the impatient child she so wonderfully epitomized. And to both her and her mom’s surprise, that door was not locked. Walking in, the two observe a silk purple bra on the floor, standing out against the grayish (thought originally white) marble-tiled floor. The yelling from the basement can be clearly heard. A thumping and a humping like one wouldn’t think was real, unless they stood there, with mother and daughter, and felt the whole house shake like it was under an aerial attack during world war two. Frozen in her stance, mom’s mouth drops, Jean stands bewildered, confused.
“No”, mom sighs. “Not today, not now. Please no”, she begins to cry. “You stay!” she commands to Jean. And with a frantic dash, leaving Jean alone at the front door to observe and study that purple bra, she runs downstairs. “Yea...Yea! You…likey…that” Jean hears a deep monstrous voice yell in the deep abyss below her. A terrifying shriek brought out only half a minute later brings Jean out of her frozen obedience, and she follows mommy’s footsteps downstairs. Turning down the balustrade, standing there bewildered, she sees a strange woman on all fours, with daddy standing over her by her buttocks, both completely naked. Dick still in Sasha’s ass, a vehement mommy stands and slaps daddy.
“You horrible, horrible…” she can’t finish the words under her uncontrollable sobs. The lustful man and woman still haven’t even budged.
“Honey, please. Sasha, go, now. Honey please, just wait…” daddy attempts to say, as mommy slaps, hits, does whatever harm her frail little arms can possibly inflict on this giant monster. Fear and anxiety are all Jean can feel. Aroused by the yelling, by the slapping, by daddy’s inability to control the situation, Jean becomes enveloped in horror before she has any chance of preparation. Like an arrow piercing her in the gut, without any idea of what is coming at her, the shock and fear push her back against the wall. She shrivels up in fetal position, and floods the floor with tears.
Back in her comforter, in that same fetal position fifteen years later, she took her fourth hit out of her bong. She knew she’ll feel high after this one. It’s always been after the fourth hit that she really got out of it, got out of her own mind, sitting on that comforter. “And you, mommy…I don’t know what to say. I can’t feel anything”.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tell Me No Lies
“Tell me you like me.”
“I want you to tell me you love me. I think you do love me.”
She nestles her cheek into his pelvic bone, opens her mouth, sticks her tongue out and tentatively licks the lower part of his shaft. “Stop watching me, I feel a lot of pressure to do a good job now.” He laughs at her. The last time she had given him oral sex he was tipsy. Apparently, the episode was so erotic for him he could hardly control the spasms that convulsed multiple times through his body after having the white hotel pillow snatched from his face he had used to quiet his sounds of ecstasy.
“There’s no pressure.”
“You liked it before.”
“I don’t remember before. Put your mouth on it.”
She didn’t put her mouth anywhere, she buries on her nose this time into his pubic hair and says sweetly, “I don’t like the way you smell.”
“I was inside of you, so I smell like you.”
Seemingly satisfied with this response, she nods her head and wraps her lips around the top of his head. Stopping, she looks up at him again and whines, “I don’t know. I feel like I have an audience.”
“Come here,” he motions. She gets on her knees and crawls to the top of the headboard, straddling his stomach with the lower half of her body. She bends over and kisses his neck. He groans and she’s surprised.
“Tell me you like me.”
“If I didn’t like you I wouldn’t be able to get hard.” If that statement were made in their countless text and instant message conversations she would have tore him a new one, but for whatever reason she could accept that admission as truthful and legitimate now in his actual presence. Him naked underneath her, with the proof his desire was true. He wraps his arms around her and rubs her lower back. “I tell you I like you all the time.” No, you don’t. But how often he actually tells her didn’t really matter. I tell you I like you all the time without hesitation, but I guess that doesn’t matter either. “Turn over,” he says. She groans in protest – she didn’t want to move in any way away from the comfortable position they were lying in. It was a rare moment lately where he stole away time to spend with her. And he never stole away time to do anything other than have sex now, but in the meantime she admitted she would take whatever she could get. Even if she wasn’t happy and him constantly declaring that her perpetual bitchfests were due to the fact that she was in love with him and not because after over a year they weren’t even fuck-buddies, just fucks. Occasionally. Now.
“I don’t want you to…”
“I know you want me on top, but God gave you all that ass for me to look at it.” He wasn’t joking. It was his sincere belief that he should be able to look down at his member pounding in and out of her and her belief she should be able to lay on her back and drag her nails into his skin while he stroked in and out, hearing him breathe into the nape of her neck. “All right, get on the edge of the bed.”
“Yay,” she squealed.
He chuckled and told her again, “I need to be attracted to a woman to get hard. But I need to like her to continue to fuck her.” Rolling her eyes, she smiled genuinely. I guess. There were many moments it was obvious he liked her, but those moments had long past. Her attitude had broken down whatever foundation had been built and his ego had allowed for that foundation to never be rebuilt. But he was addicted to fucking her and maybe her on occasion and she was addicted to him all the time. So they never parted, even though, many of their arguments would have either one dissolve into IT’S OVER, I’M DONE and literally minutes or hours later decide that wasn’t what they actually wanted. “I love fucking you.” She rolls her eyes again. Of course
“But do you like me?”
“Yes.”
She boldly looks into his eyes and says, “Look into my eyes and tell me you like me.”
As he slows down his strokes more-so to avoid cumming than being able to steady their gaze into eachother’s eyes, he’s says, “I like you. I like you.”
Liar.
"GUILTY OF MY TEMPER"
SCENE ONE:
Eleven thirty-four in the morning to be exact, stepping out from this dreadful
English class on the first floor near the exit of the building, Powder Maker. Phone ringing and instantly I knew this is the call from my friend Jessica who I always meet up around that time at this circular bench to have cigarette with. I was holding my British Literature textbook along with a cold ice coffee that was dripping and soaked the tissue that was wrapped around my medium size drink. My phone is ringing non stop as I’m walking with my hands full, rushing but pausing every two steps trying to reach for my phone. Finally I reach into my bag, felt my white phone vibrating but by the time I press talk, it hung up on me. Walking with my head down, trying not to drop or spill anything on this concrete floor, a voice call out my name. I look up and notice its Jessica who is right there sitting in this seat with her legs crossed, smiling, and waving her left hand, signaling me to walk faster. As I reach the bench where she is sitting at, I put my heavy bag, thick textbook, and my drink on the empty seat and sit next to her. I pull out the cigarette, pass one to her and light mine up. Its 20 minutes before our second class starts. As I’m puffing the cigarette every minute, sun hitting on my back, Jessica pulls her brown sunglass down from her head to cover her eyes. There was few people here and there passing by us.
“There!” I said pointing at my professor with disappointment that she showed up today. Minutes later, two college girls walk towards our direction.
“Can I get a cigarette?” asks the brunette girl
“NO”. I responded immediately without even thinking.
“I’ll buy one from you”
“Eh No…”, I stare straight at her eyes.
Refusing to leave while my friend Jessica and I are sitting hoping that she and her
friend would leave us alone. She didn’t give up asking, and asks once again for the third time.
“I’ll give you a dollar for it?”
“No!”. I give her that annoyed look and reject her again.
“They’re Chinese”, her friend mumbles while dragging her away from the bench where I’m sitting with Jessica. We stare at them as they walk the opposite direction from where we are sitting.
“Wow, I can’t believe she said that.” Jessica repeats for some reason.
“What a crack head, stupid bitch can’t comprehend the two letter word.”
“Because we’re Chinese?” Jessica asks as she’s staring at me.
“Damn, she said that?”, I said.
“Normally you would have made a scene and for once you stayed calm.”
Immediately it gave me that flashback of the day when I was at the theatre with my friend who also claimed that I have a hot temper.
SCENE TWO:
I was half way through watching Harry Potter at a huge theater in Astoria with a guy friend that I haven’t seen in years. Daniel’s sitting on my right side wearing these glasses similar to the black circle ones that I had on and, the seat to my left was empty. Far from the screen we sat, lights were off, and the only light on was the one coming from the screen. The volume was on high blasting in my ears with Harry Potter’s voice from the movie, mixed with younger girls’ voices behind me talking as they are watching the movie. There were some people sitting behind me and the only thing I was thinking
of was that they might get the wrong impression that he is my date. I purposely let my
left arm leaning on the arm chair annoyed, and not touching my friend at all so that I do
not look like I’m on a date with him. My eyes were not focused on the screen like his,
neither was it on Daniel. I was not even sitting properly and I kept moving around in my
seat. We sat so far from the screen that all I can see is the back of people’s head. Some
heads were bigger than others with different hair styles; curls, straights, shorts, and some
were even bald seated in front of me. Some audiences were taller than others that they were blocking parts of the screen. I quickly sat up straight and tried to be stiff like my friend who barely moved or even noticed me sitting on his left. Unexpectedly, my seat was shaking and realizing that it was not me, my head turned back and sideways to see who it was. As I turned around, I noticed the two teenage girls sitting behind me. Then I realize that it was these girls that were chit chatting and distracting me. Suddenly the shaking comes back and these feet on the seat caught my attention. It was one seat away from me with white sneakers crossed. Those feet were big and right away I knew it was a guy’s feet who did not care to ask if it bother me. The shaking of my seat continuously went on. I kept turning on my left and gave this guy a stare but he didn’t see me because the theater is dark while the movie is on. My head turned several times, and maybe he was pretending not to see me. He kept staring at the screen and laughed loudly. He may have been the oldest among his friends. I was disturbed by the girls behind me talking nonstop and the guy’s feet on the seat just pointing at me as if I was the laughing stock. I picked up my coach bag from that left seat next to me and moved to sit on my friend’s left seat without making too much noise or blocking those girls’ view. I hunched my back when I walked to the seat trying not to annoy anyone while my body was full of anger and bothered by that guy’s feet. These girls are now right behind and are still talking while they both were watching the screen. Without making a fuss I looked at my friend and said
“Arg! You chose the worst fucking seat.”. I said intentionally loud enough for those teenagers to hear.
“What? I didn’t know.”, he said innocently.
“Riiiiight.”
“Sorry Pei.”
From then on the girls stopped or at least had lowered their voice. My friend smiled back and continued to stare at the screen. Before the movie ended, I pushed my friend’s left arm and had to let him know that the movie ended but he just sat there with excitement hoping there would be more of the movie. He smiled and knew that I was dreading the movie because of other’s disturbance. The closest stairs to get out of this theater was on my left but I avoided that and told him to turn right and walk the long way to the stairs just to see the guy who had his feet near my seat. I passed by and saw him sitting with his friends and I grilled at him.
“Excuse Me”,
“Wha…?”
“Was it not rude that you had your feet up there?” I asked with an attitude. His beard stood out and I noticed that he also had a cap on which did not seem to fit his age.
“NoOoOo…”, he responded with a smile. “You need to grow the fuck up!”, instantly I lost my short temper. I turned my back, heading down those stairs with all these thoughts of his rude response, which raged me more in each step I took. Daniel and I finally left the theatre, walking towards the train station.
“It was not that serious.”, he said as he’s trying to calm me down.
“Are you kidding me?”, feeling as if Daniel sided with him.
“Yeah.. it was wrong for him to do that but..”, he paused.
“This asshole acted like he owns this place”.
“I know, I know …but I think you have a short temper”.
It seemed that he knew me better than those knew me much longer by
reminding me that I have a short temper. From then on, I never saw him again.
Eleven thirty-four in the morning to be exact, stepping out from this dreadful
English class on the first floor near the exit of the building, Powder Maker. Phone ringing and instantly I knew this is the call from my friend Jessica who I always meet up around that time at this circular bench to have cigarette with. I was holding my British Literature textbook along with a cold ice coffee that was dripping and soaked the tissue that was wrapped around my medium size drink. My phone is ringing non stop as I’m walking with my hands full, rushing but pausing every two steps trying to reach for my phone. Finally I reach into my bag, felt my white phone vibrating but by the time I press talk, it hung up on me. Walking with my head down, trying not to drop or spill anything on this concrete floor, a voice call out my name. I look up and notice its Jessica who is right there sitting in this seat with her legs crossed, smiling, and waving her left hand, signaling me to walk faster. As I reach the bench where she is sitting at, I put my heavy bag, thick textbook, and my drink on the empty seat and sit next to her. I pull out the cigarette, pass one to her and light mine up. Its 20 minutes before our second class starts. As I’m puffing the cigarette every minute, sun hitting on my back, Jessica pulls her brown sunglass down from her head to cover her eyes. There was few people here and there passing by us.
“There!” I said pointing at my professor with disappointment that she showed up today. Minutes later, two college girls walk towards our direction.
“Can I get a cigarette?” asks the brunette girl
“NO”. I responded immediately without even thinking.
“I’ll buy one from you”
“Eh No…”, I stare straight at her eyes.
Refusing to leave while my friend Jessica and I are sitting hoping that she and her
friend would leave us alone. She didn’t give up asking, and asks once again for the third time.
“I’ll give you a dollar for it?”
“No!”. I give her that annoyed look and reject her again.
“They’re Chinese”, her friend mumbles while dragging her away from the bench where I’m sitting with Jessica. We stare at them as they walk the opposite direction from where we are sitting.
“Wow, I can’t believe she said that.” Jessica repeats for some reason.
“What a crack head, stupid bitch can’t comprehend the two letter word.”
“Because we’re Chinese?” Jessica asks as she’s staring at me.
“Damn, she said that?”, I said.
“Normally you would have made a scene and for once you stayed calm.”
Immediately it gave me that flashback of the day when I was at the theatre with my friend who also claimed that I have a hot temper.
SCENE TWO:
I was half way through watching Harry Potter at a huge theater in Astoria with a guy friend that I haven’t seen in years. Daniel’s sitting on my right side wearing these glasses similar to the black circle ones that I had on and, the seat to my left was empty. Far from the screen we sat, lights were off, and the only light on was the one coming from the screen. The volume was on high blasting in my ears with Harry Potter’s voice from the movie, mixed with younger girls’ voices behind me talking as they are watching the movie. There were some people sitting behind me and the only thing I was thinking
of was that they might get the wrong impression that he is my date. I purposely let my
left arm leaning on the arm chair annoyed, and not touching my friend at all so that I do
not look like I’m on a date with him. My eyes were not focused on the screen like his,
neither was it on Daniel. I was not even sitting properly and I kept moving around in my
seat. We sat so far from the screen that all I can see is the back of people’s head. Some
heads were bigger than others with different hair styles; curls, straights, shorts, and some
were even bald seated in front of me. Some audiences were taller than others that they were blocking parts of the screen. I quickly sat up straight and tried to be stiff like my friend who barely moved or even noticed me sitting on his left. Unexpectedly, my seat was shaking and realizing that it was not me, my head turned back and sideways to see who it was. As I turned around, I noticed the two teenage girls sitting behind me. Then I realize that it was these girls that were chit chatting and distracting me. Suddenly the shaking comes back and these feet on the seat caught my attention. It was one seat away from me with white sneakers crossed. Those feet were big and right away I knew it was a guy’s feet who did not care to ask if it bother me. The shaking of my seat continuously went on. I kept turning on my left and gave this guy a stare but he didn’t see me because the theater is dark while the movie is on. My head turned several times, and maybe he was pretending not to see me. He kept staring at the screen and laughed loudly. He may have been the oldest among his friends. I was disturbed by the girls behind me talking nonstop and the guy’s feet on the seat just pointing at me as if I was the laughing stock. I picked up my coach bag from that left seat next to me and moved to sit on my friend’s left seat without making too much noise or blocking those girls’ view. I hunched my back when I walked to the seat trying not to annoy anyone while my body was full of anger and bothered by that guy’s feet. These girls are now right behind and are still talking while they both were watching the screen. Without making a fuss I looked at my friend and said
“Arg! You chose the worst fucking seat.”. I said intentionally loud enough for those teenagers to hear.
“What? I didn’t know.”, he said innocently.
“Riiiiight.”
“Sorry Pei.”
From then on the girls stopped or at least had lowered their voice. My friend smiled back and continued to stare at the screen. Before the movie ended, I pushed my friend’s left arm and had to let him know that the movie ended but he just sat there with excitement hoping there would be more of the movie. He smiled and knew that I was dreading the movie because of other’s disturbance. The closest stairs to get out of this theater was on my left but I avoided that and told him to turn right and walk the long way to the stairs just to see the guy who had his feet near my seat. I passed by and saw him sitting with his friends and I grilled at him.
“Excuse Me”,
“Wha…?”
“Was it not rude that you had your feet up there?” I asked with an attitude. His beard stood out and I noticed that he also had a cap on which did not seem to fit his age.
“NoOoOo…”, he responded with a smile. “You need to grow the fuck up!”, instantly I lost my short temper. I turned my back, heading down those stairs with all these thoughts of his rude response, which raged me more in each step I took. Daniel and I finally left the theatre, walking towards the train station.
“It was not that serious.”, he said as he’s trying to calm me down.
“Are you kidding me?”, feeling as if Daniel sided with him.
“Yeah.. it was wrong for him to do that but..”, he paused.
“This asshole acted like he owns this place”.
“I know, I know …but I think you have a short temper”.
It seemed that he knew me better than those knew me much longer by
reminding me that I have a short temper. From then on, I never saw him again.
Scene 3 : Dear Mr Wessen
Before Cal pulled into his driveway, he lowered ACDC on the radio and spotted a deer carcass lying directly on top of the double yellow lines painted on the wide country road in front of his old white colonial house. He stopped his pickup with a loud screech and marched over to find the midsized doe critically injured. Cal examined the deer. Its hind legs had been hit by a passing car and appeared to be broken. He wondered to himself whether the deer had crawled on top of the lines or had landed like this after being hit. The cries coming from the deer made it clear life was coming to an abrupt end sooner than later. Cal really had no idea how to help the deer and figured the best thing he could do was put the animal out of its misery since it would live the rest of its short life in pain. The sun had just begun to sink below the horizon when Cal took a deep breath and decided to go forward with his sacrifice. He had never thought of his hunting in that regard and he began to play with the idea inside of his head.
As Cal dragged the deer to the backyard, he strolled to his truck and snatched his shotgun. Cal placed the whining animal on its stomach and aimed at the back of its skull. This was the cheapest kill of ‘em all, he thought to himself, placing his callused pointer finger on the trigger, and making a final adjustment to his aim. But right before Cal could shoot, he was interrupted by a loud cry coming from his right. Cal instantly spotted a baby deer sitting under a very tall tree in his backyard about 20 yards away. The baby couldn’t have been more than two weeks old, he thought. He knew the doe was its mother, whom he pictured had earlier left her baby under the tree as she went out to fetch food.
Cal walked towards the baby deer, becoming mesmerized as he observed the deer’s courage to not run away or back down from him. He picked it up from under the tree. As he stared it directly into its eyes, he thought about the fight Dawn would make if he brought it home and suggested to keep it. As Cal became fixated in his mind about all the valid points and great rebuttals he could raise in this next bout with Dawn, he absentmindedly put the fawn down. While he was playing out this drama in his head, an even louder cry interrupted him this time. His head snapped, being brought back to reality and saw the doe crying to her baby. The baby was now lying next to his mother, mimicking the same position she was in, with his head lying on her back and licking her fur. Cal watched the doe in her last minutes ignore the pain she was in and nurture her own baby right back as if her love for him could overpower anything in this world.
Cal knew what he had to do and picked up the fawn and placed him on the deck in the backyard still in sight of what was going on. He went back to the doe, picked up the shotgun from the floor, and quickly shot the deer in the back of the head. Normally the odor from firing his shotgun put Cal in a euphoric state, but this time when inhaled, it made him cough. He looked down and saw that the deer’s head had been disintegrated by the blast, fragments were scattered all over the grass. Blood was leaking profusely from the neck. Cal couldn’t help but steal a look from the fawn in his peripheral vision, which seemed not to make a sound or move when the shot went off. The baby observed his motionless mother and what had just transpired.
As Cal dragged the deer to the backyard, he strolled to his truck and snatched his shotgun. Cal placed the whining animal on its stomach and aimed at the back of its skull. This was the cheapest kill of ‘em all, he thought to himself, placing his callused pointer finger on the trigger, and making a final adjustment to his aim. But right before Cal could shoot, he was interrupted by a loud cry coming from his right. Cal instantly spotted a baby deer sitting under a very tall tree in his backyard about 20 yards away. The baby couldn’t have been more than two weeks old, he thought. He knew the doe was its mother, whom he pictured had earlier left her baby under the tree as she went out to fetch food.
Cal walked towards the baby deer, becoming mesmerized as he observed the deer’s courage to not run away or back down from him. He picked it up from under the tree. As he stared it directly into its eyes, he thought about the fight Dawn would make if he brought it home and suggested to keep it. As Cal became fixated in his mind about all the valid points and great rebuttals he could raise in this next bout with Dawn, he absentmindedly put the fawn down. While he was playing out this drama in his head, an even louder cry interrupted him this time. His head snapped, being brought back to reality and saw the doe crying to her baby. The baby was now lying next to his mother, mimicking the same position she was in, with his head lying on her back and licking her fur. Cal watched the doe in her last minutes ignore the pain she was in and nurture her own baby right back as if her love for him could overpower anything in this world.
Cal knew what he had to do and picked up the fawn and placed him on the deck in the backyard still in sight of what was going on. He went back to the doe, picked up the shotgun from the floor, and quickly shot the deer in the back of the head. Normally the odor from firing his shotgun put Cal in a euphoric state, but this time when inhaled, it made him cough. He looked down and saw that the deer’s head had been disintegrated by the blast, fragments were scattered all over the grass. Blood was leaking profusely from the neck. Cal couldn’t help but steal a look from the fawn in his peripheral vision, which seemed not to make a sound or move when the shot went off. The baby observed his motionless mother and what had just transpired.
Standing Still (beginning)
“Seriously? You have nothing to say?” Meg crossed her arms and looked Andrew dead in the eyes. “What do you want me to say Meg? You have an answer for everything I say. I’m always wrong. Do you think it’s easy to keep a job you can’t stand?” Andrew replied. “A job you can’t stand? You loved it when you started! I can’t keep doing this with you! When you dropped out of college 3 classes short of your English Lit degree, I was on board. You wanted to go to art school, I supported you. You wanted to start your own business and I went every step of the penniless way with you. Then you switch to graphic design, and now you decide that you don’t want to work in graphic design anymore? When does it stop?”
Meg felt exasperated. Meg and Andrew had met in college. Andrew’s former best friend Steve had introduced them and they were instantly drawn to each other. Meg loved Andrew’s passion for everything he did in life and Andrew loved everything about Meg, from her short red hair to the birthmark on her left foot. She had a sharp mind that could serve as a double-edged sword: she was quick with a joke but just as quick to call Andrew out on his flaws. Andrew’s quick intensity that initially attracted Meg was starting to wear her out. He was always changing his hobbies, his plans, and his mind.
“Honestly I feel like I’m enabling you. You know I love you but I just can’t be this crutch for you anymore Andrew. Stand on your own two feet!” Meg yelled.
“See, I’m always wrong with you! Why are you attacking me? I didn’t do anything,” Andrew replied loudly. “That’s exactly my point. You haven’t done anything. What’s so wrong with doing something? Like, say, being an adult for once? All this procrastination. For what? What do you want from your future? What do you want from our future?” Meg said as the tears she held back turned her green eyes glassy. Andrew just stared at the floor silently. “You still have nothing to say? Our future together is on the line and you can’t tell me you want a future with me?” Meg shouted into the silence. Andrew just stared at her blankly. “All these years together were just a waste of my time. Get out,” Meg whispered.
Andrew ran down the stairs feeling angry and confused. What had just happened? He had gone to Meg expecting sympathy for having problems with his job but instead he got a lecture. Worse, it seemed like maybe he had really disappointed Meg for the last time. Walking out of Meg’s building into the crisp autumn air, Andrew zipped up his hoodie and put on his headphones. His life suddenly felt like a blur. He had no idea where he was going to go at this moment, let alone from now on. In a way, he didn’t care. He knew deep down that Meg was right about him; he couldn’t make up his mind about any aspect of the future. What if he committed to the wrong thing? He would feel trapped. He couldn’t take that risk. He knew he wanted Meg, but he wanted her on his own terms and he wasn’t even sure what those terms were. He felt too much pressure from Meg and the world to follow a certain path. He continued down the street. Wherever he was off to, he needed to clear his mind. Andrew looked down at his iPod to search for something to listen to that might stop his head from spinning. Caught in his own thoughts as usual, he never even noticed the car speeding up the street in his direction. The car whizzed past him and nearly hit him.
Andrew felt his heart stop and then start again in double time. His pulse raced and hands shook. All of these encounters today were a little bit too close and too real for his comfort.
Meg felt exasperated. Meg and Andrew had met in college. Andrew’s former best friend Steve had introduced them and they were instantly drawn to each other. Meg loved Andrew’s passion for everything he did in life and Andrew loved everything about Meg, from her short red hair to the birthmark on her left foot. She had a sharp mind that could serve as a double-edged sword: she was quick with a joke but just as quick to call Andrew out on his flaws. Andrew’s quick intensity that initially attracted Meg was starting to wear her out. He was always changing his hobbies, his plans, and his mind.
“Honestly I feel like I’m enabling you. You know I love you but I just can’t be this crutch for you anymore Andrew. Stand on your own two feet!” Meg yelled.
“See, I’m always wrong with you! Why are you attacking me? I didn’t do anything,” Andrew replied loudly. “That’s exactly my point. You haven’t done anything. What’s so wrong with doing something? Like, say, being an adult for once? All this procrastination. For what? What do you want from your future? What do you want from our future?” Meg said as the tears she held back turned her green eyes glassy. Andrew just stared at the floor silently. “You still have nothing to say? Our future together is on the line and you can’t tell me you want a future with me?” Meg shouted into the silence. Andrew just stared at her blankly. “All these years together were just a waste of my time. Get out,” Meg whispered.
Andrew ran down the stairs feeling angry and confused. What had just happened? He had gone to Meg expecting sympathy for having problems with his job but instead he got a lecture. Worse, it seemed like maybe he had really disappointed Meg for the last time. Walking out of Meg’s building into the crisp autumn air, Andrew zipped up his hoodie and put on his headphones. His life suddenly felt like a blur. He had no idea where he was going to go at this moment, let alone from now on. In a way, he didn’t care. He knew deep down that Meg was right about him; he couldn’t make up his mind about any aspect of the future. What if he committed to the wrong thing? He would feel trapped. He couldn’t take that risk. He knew he wanted Meg, but he wanted her on his own terms and he wasn’t even sure what those terms were. He felt too much pressure from Meg and the world to follow a certain path. He continued down the street. Wherever he was off to, he needed to clear his mind. Andrew looked down at his iPod to search for something to listen to that might stop his head from spinning. Caught in his own thoughts as usual, he never even noticed the car speeding up the street in his direction. The car whizzed past him and nearly hit him.
Andrew felt his heart stop and then start again in double time. His pulse raced and hands shook. All of these encounters today were a little bit too close and too real for his comfort.
A trap of $99
Scene
“Did you know that at twilight time as I watch the sun set on the veranda, my attention always goes to the town shoemaker and his family in their house below?” Queen said one evening during their dinner in their long banquet table. Queen’s past time is watching the sunset from her well-decorated veranda where she sits every evening. The sunset for most people is a lonely time of the day because this is the time when the light of day struggles against the darkness of the night. However, for Queen, the red-orange hue of the setting sun on the horizon was a welcome sight because she would be able to see King again and spend at least some precious time with him after his busy day.
“Every early evening I see shoemaker comes home with a bag of full grocery and his shoe box where he keeps most of his shoe fixing tools. His wife would come out of the house with her beautiful smile, like she has the best husband in the world; she would take the grocery out of his hand and both would cook together and the aroma of the cooking would make one hungry. They spend time happily in the house and most evenings after supper, they sit together and then he plays his flute to her. His wife would sing along and gets so excited and claps her hands or sometimes she dances like she owns the world and Shoemaker watches her with glee. They would laugh out loud that wakes my daydream about you. I feel their happiness which makes me jealous, but I console myself with belief that happiness at all times, is not for everyone. Yet happiness is Gods gift that we have to pursue!”
As the poor couple go on with their lives with hardly any money, they do not feel any stress and they are happy with what little they have. This happy family scene makes the Queen’s loneliness grow more painful inside, even though she would see her husband later in the evening. King is always busy only in keeping his State strong, powerful and wealthy. King always has meetings with his ministers. He busies himself with collecting taxes properly from the citizens and residents. He has to maintain the safety of the territory from his enemies. He looked old for his age with a very dry face. But, in a glance, his politician’s face is very recognizable. He is a power hungry king focused on accumulating land and wealth. Hence, he hardly has time for the Queen, not even a happy conjugal life.
The king does not have any answer, but heartless as he is, just nods his head and does not respond to his wife. He stood up and walked away. The Queen became more depressed because of King’s attitude. She thought that maybe King does not love her at all or worst was the thought of him having an affair. But King is not an unfaithful person. He is just too preoccupied with running the kingdom and looking after the welfare of the people and just could not explain to his wife why, he does not have time for her.
“Did you know that at twilight time as I watch the sun set on the veranda, my attention always goes to the town shoemaker and his family in their house below?” Queen said one evening during their dinner in their long banquet table. Queen’s past time is watching the sunset from her well-decorated veranda where she sits every evening. The sunset for most people is a lonely time of the day because this is the time when the light of day struggles against the darkness of the night. However, for Queen, the red-orange hue of the setting sun on the horizon was a welcome sight because she would be able to see King again and spend at least some precious time with him after his busy day.
“Every early evening I see shoemaker comes home with a bag of full grocery and his shoe box where he keeps most of his shoe fixing tools. His wife would come out of the house with her beautiful smile, like she has the best husband in the world; she would take the grocery out of his hand and both would cook together and the aroma of the cooking would make one hungry. They spend time happily in the house and most evenings after supper, they sit together and then he plays his flute to her. His wife would sing along and gets so excited and claps her hands or sometimes she dances like she owns the world and Shoemaker watches her with glee. They would laugh out loud that wakes my daydream about you. I feel their happiness which makes me jealous, but I console myself with belief that happiness at all times, is not for everyone. Yet happiness is Gods gift that we have to pursue!”
As the poor couple go on with their lives with hardly any money, they do not feel any stress and they are happy with what little they have. This happy family scene makes the Queen’s loneliness grow more painful inside, even though she would see her husband later in the evening. King is always busy only in keeping his State strong, powerful and wealthy. King always has meetings with his ministers. He busies himself with collecting taxes properly from the citizens and residents. He has to maintain the safety of the territory from his enemies. He looked old for his age with a very dry face. But, in a glance, his politician’s face is very recognizable. He is a power hungry king focused on accumulating land and wealth. Hence, he hardly has time for the Queen, not even a happy conjugal life.
The king does not have any answer, but heartless as he is, just nods his head and does not respond to his wife. He stood up and walked away. The Queen became more depressed because of King’s attitude. She thought that maybe King does not love her at all or worst was the thought of him having an affair. But King is not an unfaithful person. He is just too preoccupied with running the kingdom and looking after the welfare of the people and just could not explain to his wife why, he does not have time for her.
Lod
Plot Outline:
Dan and Jill meet at a mall for the first time as introduced by Jill’s Uncle, Bill who is a friend of Dan’s family. Dan and Jill go to Bill’s house as guests and then go outside and walk around the neighborhood. After a few dates, Dan takes Jill to her residence in Or’Yehuda and commence into a conversation in the nearby park. The next day they went out and had originally planned to go to the Azrieli mall but cancelled it since the bus was not arriving so they ended up going around the stores in Lod. The next week they planned to go to the Tel-Aviv shores and returned back to Lod. After a couple of weeks, its time for Dan to go back to his country.
Major Characters (2):
Dan is twenty years old who is tall at five feet nine inches, has black hair neatly gelled back, green eyes and is moderately physically built. He has a high interest in learning about distant cultures and likes to go out into foreign urban cities. He likes organization and does not like plans that suddenly change. He finds himself to be stubborn which is one of his flaws. He loves jeans and likes to wear button down collar t-shirts.
Jill is seventeen years old, who is five feet six inches. She is sweet, caring and respects older people. She loves her family and would do anything in order to help them. She has tanned skin, long curly hair and has dimples on her cheeks. She is quiet and always has a smile on her face. Jill wears long sleeve shirts and skirts that pass the knees.
Scene:
Dan, Bill and his wife sit outside Bill’s courtyard in Lod. Bill’s house
is predominantly big in comparison to the residents around Lod. He has a brick layered Villa that has three floors including the basement which is a pretty big place to reside in Lod. Outdoors in his front-yard he grows fresh dark green plants that have a strong odor that give off a pleasant feeling to your senses when encountered closely. Bill’s car is parked in the driveway and his brand is a black early nineties Mercedes Benz that has tinted bullet proof windows. They sit in the backyard with plastic chairs and a table full of fruits. Bill inquires Dan “So, do you have a girlfriend yet?”. Dan responds “Not at this moment in time”. Bill continues “You wouldn’t refuse a young lady with Brazilian features now would you?”. That same evening, Bill decides to go to the Lod mall with his wife and asks Dan to come along without telling him that they are going to find Jill who works as a customer sales representative at a clothing store.
“All you got to say is if your interested or not” informs Bill to Dan. They drive up to the Lod mall and park on the street outside the parking lot. Dan exits the car and experiences the intense heat that targets his body as opposed to the air conditioned feeling in the automobile. Bill walks towards the mall’s entrance with a wide smile on his face along with his wife as Dan follows along. Jill is working inside the mall’s store where she is carrying a set of clothes with hangers and hangs the pieces to their appropriate section sizes. Jill sees her uncle and his wife outside the store who smile and wave their hands at her with Dan. As soon as she steps outside the store which is fifteen minutes into closing for the day, Dan witnesses a cute looking young lady gently walking out from the store smiling. Dan stood frozen for a while and was finally introduced to her by Bill “Dan this is Jill”. Dan replies in Jill’s direction “Nice to meet you” in a handshake and Jill responds “A pleasure”.
Bill invites Jill to his house and offers to take her home afterwards in which she could not refuse. They all step outside the dark urban streets with streetlights giving off some sort of glowing light to the streets and still Dan perceives the darkness and the humidity a beautiful environment to be in especially as he is walking with Jill following Bill towards the parked car. Bill turns on the ignition and they take off through the partially empty traffic for a relaxed fifteen minutes until they reach the villa. Bill’s daughter, Laura is already home from work at this time who shows signs of exhaustion in the face due to the heat from outside. Laura knew that company was coming and so she neatly set up the living room table with a teapot that’s filled with boiled green tea, chocolate, fresh delicious fruits that range from watermelon, grapes, sabra fruit, melon and other exotic fruits foreign to Dan’s taste buds. Laura can hear the car arriving into the driveway shortly after she finished placing the tea cups and napkins on the table. She runs to the door and greets her family inside. Dan enters the living room and finds himself to be surrounded by quality hospitality.
He takes off his shoes and takes a seat by the table as Bill pours everyone tea. Shortly after they have this pleasant moment at the table, Dan and Jill decide to go outside and venture into the neighborhood to have some time of their own and be able to get to know each other better. Dan and Jill walk the sidewalks of Lod and enter a store in which Dan buys a fruit drink for the both of them. Dan chooses grapefruit and lime flavor. Jill doesn’t seem to be picky in which she likes to drink and ends up trying the lime flavor. “How is it?” Dan inquires hoping that the drink is not too citric. “Its sweet” she replies. Dan is relieved. They walk and they talk about what’s on their minds which revolves around school, education, jobs, prospective careers and their families. “Do you miss your family?” Jill asks. “Yes and No” answers Dan. “I really needed this vacation and hopefully they needed a vacation from me” Dan continues. Jill laughs.
Dan and Jill meet at a mall for the first time as introduced by Jill’s Uncle, Bill who is a friend of Dan’s family. Dan and Jill go to Bill’s house as guests and then go outside and walk around the neighborhood. After a few dates, Dan takes Jill to her residence in Or’Yehuda and commence into a conversation in the nearby park. The next day they went out and had originally planned to go to the Azrieli mall but cancelled it since the bus was not arriving so they ended up going around the stores in Lod. The next week they planned to go to the Tel-Aviv shores and returned back to Lod. After a couple of weeks, its time for Dan to go back to his country.
Major Characters (2):
Dan is twenty years old who is tall at five feet nine inches, has black hair neatly gelled back, green eyes and is moderately physically built. He has a high interest in learning about distant cultures and likes to go out into foreign urban cities. He likes organization and does not like plans that suddenly change. He finds himself to be stubborn which is one of his flaws. He loves jeans and likes to wear button down collar t-shirts.
Jill is seventeen years old, who is five feet six inches. She is sweet, caring and respects older people. She loves her family and would do anything in order to help them. She has tanned skin, long curly hair and has dimples on her cheeks. She is quiet and always has a smile on her face. Jill wears long sleeve shirts and skirts that pass the knees.
Scene:
Dan, Bill and his wife sit outside Bill’s courtyard in Lod. Bill’s house
is predominantly big in comparison to the residents around Lod. He has a brick layered Villa that has three floors including the basement which is a pretty big place to reside in Lod. Outdoors in his front-yard he grows fresh dark green plants that have a strong odor that give off a pleasant feeling to your senses when encountered closely. Bill’s car is parked in the driveway and his brand is a black early nineties Mercedes Benz that has tinted bullet proof windows. They sit in the backyard with plastic chairs and a table full of fruits. Bill inquires Dan “So, do you have a girlfriend yet?”. Dan responds “Not at this moment in time”. Bill continues “You wouldn’t refuse a young lady with Brazilian features now would you?”. That same evening, Bill decides to go to the Lod mall with his wife and asks Dan to come along without telling him that they are going to find Jill who works as a customer sales representative at a clothing store.
“All you got to say is if your interested or not” informs Bill to Dan. They drive up to the Lod mall and park on the street outside the parking lot. Dan exits the car and experiences the intense heat that targets his body as opposed to the air conditioned feeling in the automobile. Bill walks towards the mall’s entrance with a wide smile on his face along with his wife as Dan follows along. Jill is working inside the mall’s store where she is carrying a set of clothes with hangers and hangs the pieces to their appropriate section sizes. Jill sees her uncle and his wife outside the store who smile and wave their hands at her with Dan. As soon as she steps outside the store which is fifteen minutes into closing for the day, Dan witnesses a cute looking young lady gently walking out from the store smiling. Dan stood frozen for a while and was finally introduced to her by Bill “Dan this is Jill”. Dan replies in Jill’s direction “Nice to meet you” in a handshake and Jill responds “A pleasure”.
Bill invites Jill to his house and offers to take her home afterwards in which she could not refuse. They all step outside the dark urban streets with streetlights giving off some sort of glowing light to the streets and still Dan perceives the darkness and the humidity a beautiful environment to be in especially as he is walking with Jill following Bill towards the parked car. Bill turns on the ignition and they take off through the partially empty traffic for a relaxed fifteen minutes until they reach the villa. Bill’s daughter, Laura is already home from work at this time who shows signs of exhaustion in the face due to the heat from outside. Laura knew that company was coming and so she neatly set up the living room table with a teapot that’s filled with boiled green tea, chocolate, fresh delicious fruits that range from watermelon, grapes, sabra fruit, melon and other exotic fruits foreign to Dan’s taste buds. Laura can hear the car arriving into the driveway shortly after she finished placing the tea cups and napkins on the table. She runs to the door and greets her family inside. Dan enters the living room and finds himself to be surrounded by quality hospitality.
He takes off his shoes and takes a seat by the table as Bill pours everyone tea. Shortly after they have this pleasant moment at the table, Dan and Jill decide to go outside and venture into the neighborhood to have some time of their own and be able to get to know each other better. Dan and Jill walk the sidewalks of Lod and enter a store in which Dan buys a fruit drink for the both of them. Dan chooses grapefruit and lime flavor. Jill doesn’t seem to be picky in which she likes to drink and ends up trying the lime flavor. “How is it?” Dan inquires hoping that the drink is not too citric. “Its sweet” she replies. Dan is relieved. They walk and they talk about what’s on their minds which revolves around school, education, jobs, prospective careers and their families. “Do you miss your family?” Jill asks. “Yes and No” answers Dan. “I really needed this vacation and hopefully they needed a vacation from me” Dan continues. Jill laughs.
Old Flames are Hard To Die-2
Scene-
It was past seven o’clock in the evening when Shirley stepped into her into her silver BMW. She put her seatbelt on and then put her car’s key in the ignition and sped off St. Johns Hospital’s parking lot. She hated the being there. She hated the hospital smell, the colors of the walls, and the waiting. But since she was pregnant and her doctor was affiliated with St. Johns she spent a lot of time there. At least her doctor was on the better side of the hospital. Today she had gone there for an entirely different reason though. She was so anxious and excited to get home to tell her husband, Justin the happy result s. She had made a mistake of sleeping with Justin’s brother, Jeremy and was unsure who fathered her unborn child. She thought to herself what a terrible mistake she has made especially when she known that Jeremy had always been jealous of his older brother Justin because he had abandoned by his mother when he was a baby. Justin had gotten the privilege to grow up with their mother. They actually had a good relationship until she passed away from cancer. Jeremy hated him for that and wanted to make Justin’s life miserable like his. He decided to ruin Justin’s marriage by sleeping with her and he had the nerve to tell him about it and that he was in fact the father of the unborn baby. The more she thought about it the angrier she got. He used me and I fell for his trap because I was lonely. She began to increase the speed of the car. She was now driving 70 mph through the dark roads.
She decided to call Jeremy. She takes her cell phone from her purse and starts dialing his number. The phone kept ringing then it went to voicemail. “You have reached Jeremy. I’m either away from my phone or on another call please leave a short message and I will return your call as soon as possible. (Beep)” “It’s Shirley I just wanted to let you know I got the results of the amino and I’m so glad to say that you are not the father of my baby. With that I want you out of my life. I don’t want to ever see or speak to you ever. So continue on with your miserable existence elsewhere.” She hung up the phone call and let out a huge sigh of relief. She started to reach for her purse to put her phone away when she looked up onto the road and she let out a hurling scream. She quickly swerved to the right to avoid hitting the car coming straight into her. She thought to herself please don’t let my baby die or me!! Please god!! She pressed her foot on the brake pedal so hard but it was too late she went into the woods and hit the trees. The air bag popped out and knocked her unconscious.
The driver that had a near head on collision with her called 911. “Help! Please send help! I almost hit a car but the driver avoided me! They managed swerved away into the woods!” “Please calm down and tell me where you are?” the operator said.” “I’m on Clearview Road” “Okay help will be arriving soon please stay put” the operator said. The police and paramedic arrived to the scenes within minutes. They took Shirley out of the car. She was still unconscious. They took her to the nearest hospital, which happened to be St. Johns Hospital.
Strung Out
Plot: Christoff is a heroin addict that has the ability to materialize his hallucinations into the real world when he is under the influence. While Christoff is indifferent to his abilities he seems to get into all sorts of predicaments alongside his best and only friend Jonesy. The pinnacle point of there friendship is tested when Jonesy and Christoff is being chased by Mafia affiliated group for something Jonesy has seen. As Christoff is dazed and confused he is reluctant to help his friend given the circumstances.
Scene: The Beginning
“A dime.” “Forget it just give me a nick of black pearl then.” Click, the phone goes flying into the dark abyss of distressed room.
Christoff never made eye contact with the dealers that sold him death. Instead he would cloak himself with his hood and walk past them with the utmost speed and wander off into the dark horizon with his ever so precious black pearl. Had he not gone insane from his delusions, he was surely going to partake on the destination towards the loss of his sanity. As of late his high never seemed to go away. Everything that he saw in his hallucinations seemed to be directly intertwined with the real world. Things that would be out of place were in place or so he thought. Sometimes the world would diminish within his eyes and he would have to immediately calibrate his weary vision of the world with a dash of Diacetylmorphine. All was well as he floated by the sensuous sensations of his magnificent mere life.
As a degenerate vessel of life, viewed by the majority of the public that surrounded Christoff he had but one friend, Jonesy, who was incredulous to the fact that Christoff saw the many things that he did. Sometimes Jonesy even thought that he himself was fictive form of life, whose only purpose was to accompany Christoff. All the nights that passed Christoff were dreary and full of despair, not his but others that had something worth to despair. He lived accordingly to the blotch of strings that weaved life. He was memorized by the simplicities of things, which sometimes took the persona of something difficult and intangible. As he walked the endless blocks Jonesy would step in from the shadows and accompany him. Sometimes Jonesy teased Christoff about his appearance and wit. Christoff shrugged these things of easily as they seem to have little to no affliction within soul.
Numbness grew like growth inside the inside of his insides. “Listen I was thinking, how about you lay off the stuff for awhile and see where it takes you” “No I don’t think so” “Well why not Christy hmnn?” “There’s never a season to, it’s just but a stimulant ineffective to things that surround me, it just turns and churns me, but only me” “Well what about me I’m the uncooperative passenger that takes deep spills here and there for the occurrences in your bleak and distasteful life”. “Oh worry not my dear friend lets just exist”. “You know Christoff you really like that pathetic dark persona don’t you? Where are the rainbows and ponies huh?” “…humph”.
Scene: The Beginning
“A dime.” “Forget it just give me a nick of black pearl then.” Click, the phone goes flying into the dark abyss of distressed room.
Christoff never made eye contact with the dealers that sold him death. Instead he would cloak himself with his hood and walk past them with the utmost speed and wander off into the dark horizon with his ever so precious black pearl. Had he not gone insane from his delusions, he was surely going to partake on the destination towards the loss of his sanity. As of late his high never seemed to go away. Everything that he saw in his hallucinations seemed to be directly intertwined with the real world. Things that would be out of place were in place or so he thought. Sometimes the world would diminish within his eyes and he would have to immediately calibrate his weary vision of the world with a dash of Diacetylmorphine. All was well as he floated by the sensuous sensations of his magnificent mere life.
As a degenerate vessel of life, viewed by the majority of the public that surrounded Christoff he had but one friend, Jonesy, who was incredulous to the fact that Christoff saw the many things that he did. Sometimes Jonesy even thought that he himself was fictive form of life, whose only purpose was to accompany Christoff. All the nights that passed Christoff were dreary and full of despair, not his but others that had something worth to despair. He lived accordingly to the blotch of strings that weaved life. He was memorized by the simplicities of things, which sometimes took the persona of something difficult and intangible. As he walked the endless blocks Jonesy would step in from the shadows and accompany him. Sometimes Jonesy teased Christoff about his appearance and wit. Christoff shrugged these things of easily as they seem to have little to no affliction within soul.
Numbness grew like growth inside the inside of his insides. “Listen I was thinking, how about you lay off the stuff for awhile and see where it takes you” “No I don’t think so” “Well why not Christy hmnn?” “There’s never a season to, it’s just but a stimulant ineffective to things that surround me, it just turns and churns me, but only me” “Well what about me I’m the uncooperative passenger that takes deep spills here and there for the occurrences in your bleak and distasteful life”. “Oh worry not my dear friend lets just exist”. “You know Christoff you really like that pathetic dark persona don’t you? Where are the rainbows and ponies huh?” “…humph”.
The Struggle to Get into Columbia University
I just got back from my interview with Dr. Adams and I am sitting here, crying my eyes out. I want; no I need to get into Columbia University. My mother needs me to help with the bills, and she needs me to continue going to school so that one day we would not be struggling so much anymore. My dad left us when I was about four years old, and never gave my mother child support or any other kind of help. My mom has done all she can. We even lived in a shelter home for a year after he left us. All this pressure to be a pediatrician, what I always wanted to be, and my mom's expectations from me give me so much stress. I cannot let my mom and my sister down, I cannot let myself down. There is not anything else I can think to do but cry. I have not dinner or anything. I am too mad at myself.
My mom came home from work at 3am and wakes me up to ask me how my interview went. I didn’t even want to look at her; I just said “Awful, I didn’t get it because I was late”. Why I didn't lie to her, I don’t know. I should have, but I just needed someone to talk about it with so I could get the weight off of my chest. As soon as my mom heard I was late, she says “Why were you late? I told you to be there early, this is your future, Oh my God, Olivia so what is going to happen now huh?”
“I don’t know mom I am going to try to get recommendations to see. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Damn it, you know I need your support here. Your sister Diana is too young to work and she needs to focus on her studies and you were the only one I was counting on to help me out here. What happened that you were late?"”
“Well, my umbrella broke and got soaking wet so I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and I didn’t realize my watch had stopped, and I guess I took too long in the bathroom, and was late.”
“Oh my god so you’re telling me you were late because you wanted to look pretty for the interview. Why didn’t you just go straight there? That was so stupid Olivia.”
“I’m sorry you are the one that always tells me to make sure I look presentable for the interviews, so I didn’t know. I’m sorry Mom, but what do you want from me? Its your fault too. You are never here for me; you are always at work and forget about your daughters.”
“What are you saying Olivia? This wasn’t my fault. The reason why I am never home is so you could have food and a roof over your head. Your father never gave you anything and I know I put pressure on you, but I really can’t do this on my own. Now I don’t have anyone to help, your grandmother is dead and your aunts are in Florida and have their own lives to worry about. So unless you want to go back to living in the shelter, you need to do something to get that interview back.”
“Okay mom! I get it but what if I don’t get it? What are we going to do then?”
“Then we will figure it out. Maybe I could try to get you a job in the hospital I work for or you could apply to other places. I am sorry I am putting so much pressure on you.”
“Okay I am going to try mom. I’m sorry I was late. And hey Diana is already 16 she could get a job too. She should apply at the library or something for the summer. For real mom, she is not a baby anymore.”
“I know but let her have her fun, she is still young.”
“That’s not fair! I didn’t have any fun. I was working since I was fourteen years old, when I was working in Tio Luis' grocery store, remember? I always made money to help her. You always treat her better than me, and let her do whatever she wants and I always get screwed working and having no social life. My life sucks!!!”
“Oh please Olivia, your life wasn’t bad. You are the older one and have to set the example. Don’t you want your sister to have the fun, and not have to go through the same struggle you went through?”
“No, she should learn to be independent and should work as hard as I work; she is eating the same way I am isn’t she. I am going to do whatever I can but if I can’t get it then I guess, we will have to buy less food or maybe make Diana move since she is the only princess here.”
“Okay Olivia I am not going to argue with you anymore. That’s enough. Just shut up and go to sleep. I will talk to you in the morning. I love you”
“I love you too mom …”
I am so mad; it so not fair that I have to go through this while my princess of a sister is hanging out with her stupid little friends all day, doing absolutely nothing to help out. I am going to talk to Professor Sanchez tomorrow. He was the best biology professor I ever had. Hopefully he will have an answer to my prayers because if not, this will always be my life, living at home wit my mom and my sister, struggling.
My mom came home from work at 3am and wakes me up to ask me how my interview went. I didn’t even want to look at her; I just said “Awful, I didn’t get it because I was late”. Why I didn't lie to her, I don’t know. I should have, but I just needed someone to talk about it with so I could get the weight off of my chest. As soon as my mom heard I was late, she says “Why were you late? I told you to be there early, this is your future, Oh my God, Olivia so what is going to happen now huh?”
“I don’t know mom I am going to try to get recommendations to see. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Damn it, you know I need your support here. Your sister Diana is too young to work and she needs to focus on her studies and you were the only one I was counting on to help me out here. What happened that you were late?"”
“Well, my umbrella broke and got soaking wet so I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and I didn’t realize my watch had stopped, and I guess I took too long in the bathroom, and was late.”
“Oh my god so you’re telling me you were late because you wanted to look pretty for the interview. Why didn’t you just go straight there? That was so stupid Olivia.”
“I’m sorry you are the one that always tells me to make sure I look presentable for the interviews, so I didn’t know. I’m sorry Mom, but what do you want from me? Its your fault too. You are never here for me; you are always at work and forget about your daughters.”
“What are you saying Olivia? This wasn’t my fault. The reason why I am never home is so you could have food and a roof over your head. Your father never gave you anything and I know I put pressure on you, but I really can’t do this on my own. Now I don’t have anyone to help, your grandmother is dead and your aunts are in Florida and have their own lives to worry about. So unless you want to go back to living in the shelter, you need to do something to get that interview back.”
“Okay mom! I get it but what if I don’t get it? What are we going to do then?”
“Then we will figure it out. Maybe I could try to get you a job in the hospital I work for or you could apply to other places. I am sorry I am putting so much pressure on you.”
“Okay I am going to try mom. I’m sorry I was late. And hey Diana is already 16 she could get a job too. She should apply at the library or something for the summer. For real mom, she is not a baby anymore.”
“I know but let her have her fun, she is still young.”
“That’s not fair! I didn’t have any fun. I was working since I was fourteen years old, when I was working in Tio Luis' grocery store, remember? I always made money to help her. You always treat her better than me, and let her do whatever she wants and I always get screwed working and having no social life. My life sucks!!!”
“Oh please Olivia, your life wasn’t bad. You are the older one and have to set the example. Don’t you want your sister to have the fun, and not have to go through the same struggle you went through?”
“No, she should learn to be independent and should work as hard as I work; she is eating the same way I am isn’t she. I am going to do whatever I can but if I can’t get it then I guess, we will have to buy less food or maybe make Diana move since she is the only princess here.”
“Okay Olivia I am not going to argue with you anymore. That’s enough. Just shut up and go to sleep. I will talk to you in the morning. I love you”
“I love you too mom …”
I am so mad; it so not fair that I have to go through this while my princess of a sister is hanging out with her stupid little friends all day, doing absolutely nothing to help out. I am going to talk to Professor Sanchez tomorrow. He was the best biology professor I ever had. Hopefully he will have an answer to my prayers because if not, this will always be my life, living at home wit my mom and my sister, struggling.
Xylia And Her Dragon
Long ago, deep in a remote mountain valley was a small village. The village was built around a stream which ran through a forest, north of the village. The forest was luscious and filled with life, so much so, that the villagers considered the forest to be sacred. This prompted them to venture deep into the forest, where the largest tree stood.
The tree was taller than any of them could imagine, its branches were large and far reaching, which created an open area underneath. When the villagers looked down, they saw that it's roots were also very large and had a familiar calm and peaceful feeling.
“This looks like the tree in the middle of the village” said a young girl.
The young single mother who's beauty was unsurpassed by any maiden in the village, was exhausted from the long journey and from carrying her cute toddler daughter with her, sat down on one of the large roots and put her child down. The child felt at home, and began to crawl up the tallest root, which caused everyone to watch her for her own safety.
Suddenly the child began to glow a golden greenish light, and float high above the root. As the glowing child floated up above the root, the mother panicked hysterically, while the child just cutely laughed, like all young crawling children do.
“Xylia!” shouted the young mother. “What's happening to my Xylia?!”
Xylia continued to glow and float higher, then began to transform into a beautiful maiden. The maiden was barely dressed, in a thin silk slip which hugged her child bearing hips, and a sheer silk sash which covered her soft shoulders, and motherly mounds. Her hair was a deep rich brown and long, ending past her small feet. The villagers stood in shock and awe at her natural beauty, and the fact that she was still floating in the air, glowing barely covered as if they never saw a naked woman before.
“Thank you all for coming to visit me, my children.” she spoke with a light, airy and motherly tone. “You did not have to make this journey up to see me, as I watch you from afar every day.”
A young farmer's boy spoke up, “Are you the spirit of the forest?” he innocently asked the glowing maiden in his prepubescent voice which cracked every time he began to speak.
“Yes, I am. I am Keita, protector of this forest, and the stream which runs through it. This tree which you are standing on is my physical link to this world. My roots extend far and wide, reaching past the village and sprouting smaller trees wherever they go.”
“Is the tree in the middle of the village you?” squeaked the prepubescent boy.
“Yes, it is. As long as my sprout-lings are well and taken care of, I will always be here protecting you. Please head home now, as it is getting late and the sun will soon set.”
With that, the maiden transformed back into the young toddler, who was sound asleep on the tree root.
Four times a year, each when the seasons changed, the people of the village made the journey to the tree, to visit Keita. There they took care of her roots, and cleared them of fallen leaves, being careful not to damage the surrounding life. After-wards some would sit on the roots which rose up high, and sleep in the groves that adjacent roots would make. Those who stared into her leaves, said they dreamt about her, and that Keita spoke to them and told them to admire and protect all life.
Then one day, a raging storm came into the valley. The torrent destroyed houses, and crops, and several village people perished under the rubble. Xylia, who was now a young and beautiful maiden, surpassing her mother and one of the most desired woman of the village, was found under parts of a fallen building. Her mother was crying at her side, but you could not see her tears as they were mixed with the falling rain.
“Please someone help my daughter!” Xylia's mother screamed, “She's still breathing!”
The farmer's son, who was now a young man, gathered some of his friends to carefully lift and remove the fallen debris from Xylia's virgin body. As they cleared the debris, Xylia's pale white skin seemed glowed in the falling rain. Her skin was clean and free of scratches or marks, and the smell of sweet baked goods always radiated from her body, as she helped her mother with baking sweets for the village.
“There has to be something we can do to save her.” Her mother sobbed.
“Quickly, take her to Keita.” said the boy's grandmother to her grandson, “only Keita can save her now.”
The grandson obeyed and carried her with her mother following, deep into the forest till they were at Keita's base. The young man, then gently placed Xylia on the same root which she crawled on when she was a toddler. The mother then fell to her knees, and begged to the tree to save her daughter.
Keita, felt each tear drop from the villagers, each burned her skin, and as some of the villagers were crushed under the fallen houses, Keita felt a whipping sting against her back. She saw Xylia, her mother, and the young man at her base.
“I thought you were always here to protect us!” she heard, from the crying mother.
Keita, couldn't do anything, this was beyond her power. Keita could only bring new life and was not responsible for deaths. Keita then went deep into the eye of the storm, and at the center in the calm she saw a tall, dark and handsome man and a weeping maiden. He was standing with his eyes closed, and arms outstretched, in nothing but a loin cloth made from an animal's skin. His outstretched arms revealed strong defined muscles, with his short spiked hair, he commanded quite a presence. The maiden was crouched down, with her head to her knees, and her arms and hands protecting her head. As Keita came closer, she saw that her body was covered in marks, and completely naked.
“You, why are you here?” shouted the man, with a deep and commanding voice that had no hint of fear.
“I am Keita, the protector of the forest and land below.”
“I know, who you are.” said the man.
The crouching woman, stopped crying and stood up. Her figure was even more beautiful than Keita. Her naked skin looked warm, soft, and fairer than the skin which covered Keita. Her hair, long and flowing, like the rivers of the land. And her eyes were blue and as deep as the ocean.
“Daughter, I know why you are here.” the blue eyed woman spoke, with a cold tone, as if she has said these words many times before. “You are here to save the girl, Xylia, and the people of the village your father is destroying.”
“Yes, I am.” Keita responded with purity. “How do I save her?”
“If you truly want to save her, you must perform an exchange with the one who is collecting.” said her mother.
“Would you like to perform the exchange?” asked her father, in a deep dark voice.
“Yes” Keita said without hesitance.
With those words, her mother turned away and said in a cold sad voice, “Your life will be shorter now, Xylia's life will not be perfect, she will bear a monster that isn't human. Don't cry during the exchange, it will only excite your father.”
As Keita's mother ended her sentence, her husband rushed towards their beautiful daughter. He forcefully grabbed her neck, and ripped off her silk slip and sash. With his strong hands, he grabbed her flowing long hair, turned her around, and forcefully inserted himself into her.
Below, lighting struck one of Keita's sprout-lings, and it slowly burned to ashes in the rain.
Fourth of July-2
Glorious light came through when Jane realized that she was the only one he loved. Every incident in her life adds up to a grand picture that he created for me.
“What are you doing this Saturday?”
“Well, I have no plans. Why?”
“Great, I will see you this Saturday then. Do you remember the last time I told you that I want to tour the Yale University? Let’s go there”
“Oh yes. That sounds good”
Jane lives in south part of Connecticut. And Steve lives in New York City. They were able to meet when Jane came down to New York to see her friend Nicole. Nicole introduced Steve to Jane. And Steve fell in love with Jane at first sight. They enjoyed their conversations at the bar first time they met.
It is Saturday morning, 11:00 a.m. The Phone is ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m in front of your house. If you are ready, come out.”
“Okay”
Jane is looking outside by the window. She sees Steve is waiting in his car. It was a first date after they decided to go out. Jane’s heart is throbbing because of Steve. Jane opens his door. And they hug each other.
“How have you been?”
“Good”
“Thank you for coming all the way from New York. It’s very impressive.”
“I’m happy to do this for you girl”
Jane is directing the way to get Yale University. It only takes 15 minutes from her house. Jane always dreamed about if she has someone to love, she has always wanted to drive with that person. Today the dream comes true. As they arrives Yale campus, Steve parked the car and started to walk. The buildings are huge and magnificent. Steve amazed by its elegance and beauty.
“What are you doing this Saturday?”
“Well, I have no plans. Why?”
“Great, I will see you this Saturday then. Do you remember the last time I told you that I want to tour the Yale University? Let’s go there”
“Oh yes. That sounds good”
Jane lives in south part of Connecticut. And Steve lives in New York City. They were able to meet when Jane came down to New York to see her friend Nicole. Nicole introduced Steve to Jane. And Steve fell in love with Jane at first sight. They enjoyed their conversations at the bar first time they met.
It is Saturday morning, 11:00 a.m. The Phone is ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m in front of your house. If you are ready, come out.”
“Okay”
Jane is looking outside by the window. She sees Steve is waiting in his car. It was a first date after they decided to go out. Jane’s heart is throbbing because of Steve. Jane opens his door. And they hug each other.
“How have you been?”
“Good”
“Thank you for coming all the way from New York. It’s very impressive.”
“I’m happy to do this for you girl”
Jane is directing the way to get Yale University. It only takes 15 minutes from her house. Jane always dreamed about if she has someone to love, she has always wanted to drive with that person. Today the dream comes true. As they arrives Yale campus, Steve parked the car and started to walk. The buildings are huge and magnificent. Steve amazed by its elegance and beauty.
Ashamed of her love
The relationship between Sonny and Catherine start in the hot month of August and continues throughout the fall and winter season. Both like the company of each other or maybe it’s the sexual they both feel towards each other. Sonny begins to take her out where his friends are. He also starts to bring her out with his friend’s girlfriends as well. She’s happy that he is showing him off as his’ and he is happy that he has the girlfriend who everyone loves and gets along with. In December, with the holidays around the corner, Sonny asks Catherine if she would like to go to see the Christmas tree in Manhattan with his friends in a few days. He tells her that if she were to come, Mathew, his friend, will also bring his girlfriend, who Catherine knows through most of her girlfriends. Mathew never bought his girlfriend out with his friends for some unknown reason. Catherine loved the idea of seeing a beautiful, enormous lighted tree outside in the city that never sleeps with her love. Her love that initiated that he wants her to go with him.
The night everyone is supposed to go see the tree, Sonny comes to Catherine’s house to pick her up. He takes her to his house where his friend is waiting in his car with his girlfriend. Catherine sits in the back with Lydia, Mathew’s girlfriend. There was another friend that was also coming with them to Manhattan, who was already sitting in the front passenger side. Sonny ended up sitting next to Catherine in the back, the whole time touching, tickling, and holding her. She is content, even with the fact that everyone is there with them and they had no privacy. She is pleased that she means something to him where he brings her out with his friends and that they also like her enough to hang out with her.
Eventually after entering Manhattan, everyone sees the tree and decides to get the infamous chicken and rice across the Hilton hotel. While the girls stay in the car with Mathew, Sonny and the other friend goes to get five plates of food. After ten minutes, they come back with hot containers of food for everyone. Sonny never talked while eating, so of course he finished quickly and went outside for a cigarette and his friend followed. “Oh my god, what are you guys doing here”, a voice comes from the right side of Lydia’s window. Everyone turns and sees a mutual friend of both Catherine and Lydia, Lauren. Lauren looks intently at Catherine when she asks the question because she knows that she rarely goes out with Lydia. “I called Catherine and asked her if she wanted to come with us to see the tree and then we decided to get some food”, answers Lydia.
Catherine was still unsure of what to say because no one knew that she was dating Sonny. She knew in her heart no one would like the fact that she was with someone that she had no future with. But she realized at that moment a bigger truth. She was ashamed to be with Sonny because he had nothing going on for him; no career, no education, and an alcohol problem which he wasn’t willing to get help with. Catherine just shrugged and replied Lauren, “why not see the tree instead of sitting home”. Everyone is now back in the car, ready to head home. Sonny takes his seat next to Catherine in the back while Catherine is physically sitting next to him. Mentally she is thinking that no one can know about the two of them. She didn’t want to answer anyone if questions were going to be thrown at her as to why she was with him. She looks at Sonny one last time that night and then stares straight ahead for the rest of the ride home.
The night everyone is supposed to go see the tree, Sonny comes to Catherine’s house to pick her up. He takes her to his house where his friend is waiting in his car with his girlfriend. Catherine sits in the back with Lydia, Mathew’s girlfriend. There was another friend that was also coming with them to Manhattan, who was already sitting in the front passenger side. Sonny ended up sitting next to Catherine in the back, the whole time touching, tickling, and holding her. She is content, even with the fact that everyone is there with them and they had no privacy. She is pleased that she means something to him where he brings her out with his friends and that they also like her enough to hang out with her.
Eventually after entering Manhattan, everyone sees the tree and decides to get the infamous chicken and rice across the Hilton hotel. While the girls stay in the car with Mathew, Sonny and the other friend goes to get five plates of food. After ten minutes, they come back with hot containers of food for everyone. Sonny never talked while eating, so of course he finished quickly and went outside for a cigarette and his friend followed. “Oh my god, what are you guys doing here”, a voice comes from the right side of Lydia’s window. Everyone turns and sees a mutual friend of both Catherine and Lydia, Lauren. Lauren looks intently at Catherine when she asks the question because she knows that she rarely goes out with Lydia. “I called Catherine and asked her if she wanted to come with us to see the tree and then we decided to get some food”, answers Lydia.
Catherine was still unsure of what to say because no one knew that she was dating Sonny. She knew in her heart no one would like the fact that she was with someone that she had no future with. But she realized at that moment a bigger truth. She was ashamed to be with Sonny because he had nothing going on for him; no career, no education, and an alcohol problem which he wasn’t willing to get help with. Catherine just shrugged and replied Lauren, “why not see the tree instead of sitting home”. Everyone is now back in the car, ready to head home. Sonny takes his seat next to Catherine in the back while Catherine is physically sitting next to him. Mentally she is thinking that no one can know about the two of them. She didn’t want to answer anyone if questions were going to be thrown at her as to why she was with him. She looks at Sonny one last time that night and then stares straight ahead for the rest of the ride home.
Through the faint street light seeping through the cracks of the blinds, he was able to study his sleeping wife’s face. She had a pained expression plastered on. It was the same face that she confronted him with all of those morning-afters where he desperately just wanted to disappear back into his haze. As he slid out of bed he thought about how much he had resented that face; he couldn’t help but think that maybe she was really awake and couldn’t muster the energy and courage to open her eyes and actually stop him. “Cowar,” he muttered almost inaudibly; the exact second before he let the “d” come out of his mouth, he was stopped by his own stabbing self-loathing; that feeling only served as a stronger propellant for him and he hastily dug out a stained tee shirt and pair of faded jeans from the hamper by the door. He walked back towards the bed and carefully picked up his wallet, keys and cell phone from the night stnad. Then, he slid the phone and wallet into his pant’s pocket while holding the keys tightly in his hand so as to keep them from jingling. Standing at their door, he grasped the brass door knob; turning it clockwise while simultaneously lifting the lock somehow minimized the creaking of the door hinges. Opening the door just enough for him to slip his tall slender frame out, he maneuvered his body out of the room and gave his wife another glance before leaving the door ajar behind him. In his boxers, with his clothes draped over one arm still, he took light, deliberate steps towards the stairs at the end of the hallway. He picked up his pace while walking by the last two closed doors on his right. He turned left onto the wooden staircase and continued thoughtfully stepping. Every two steps of the 24 step staircase, he would turn his head back up to the dimly lit hallway behind him. Once he was standing at the front door, he stepped into his jeans, zipped and buttoned them, and then put his head and arms through his tee shirt. Unlocking the door and turning the knob, he pulled the door closed and stuck his key in to lock it.
Finally reaching his newly traded in Volvo station wagon, he inhales, smelling the new upholstery of the car and then orients himself with the automatic shifter. He had been driving a manual Camaro since he could remember. He turns his key into the ignition and the voice of a male DJ blasts in his ears startling him to gasp. Turning the radio back down, he looks at the clock as he pulls out of the driveway. It was 1:27 a.m. and he let out an exhale in relief. “1:30, back before 5, two hour nap, kids to school,work,” he recited to himself. Pulling into the parking space in front of the Gaslight, an inconspicuous local pub frequented for the last four years by five men he had known nothing about, except for alcohol preferences, he felt disdain and comfort. Walking in, he noticed two of the five regulars participating in their typical incoherent drunken banter at the bar, so he continued to walk towards the furthest end, away from the light and away from the men that bore disonconcerting resemblances to his dead beat father.
"Maker's Mark?" the weathered bartender asks. He nods. Five hours and eight drinks later, he pulls out the phone from his pocket. It was 6:30. All he could think about was sinking into the oblivion of the 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets his wife had bought in an epitomizing attempt to improve their sex life. He assembled as much urgency as he could and intently walked to his car and started the engine. Breaking at the stop light, he cradles his heated face in his hands. Moving his foot off the break, he lets the car roll into the intersection.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
PLOT LINE
Assignment given.
Moment of uncertainty.
Then clarity, she has a brief idea of what to do for said assignment.
Her initial idea she hates, so she decides to wait until tomorrow for inspiration.
Tomorrow comes and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do. So she does some things that are more fun and entertaining instead.
She takes her niece to the mall to visit Him and then back home.
Goes to sleep because pretending to be a mother is harder than she thought it would be.
Then takes niece to the park and yells at her for getting in the water after being told not to on a particularly cool summer day.
Considers using that experience as material, but than decides it is now too hot to even write anything in her hot computer room, or room, or house – period.
Feels a level of discouragement but plans for better days in the future.
Decides she’s wrong and wants everyone else to know that.
Finally make a huge attempt at the assignment.
But its still hot and that creates a trickle of sweat that falls into her eyes and blinds her.
So she walks away from the computer and into an air-conditioned room, where she finds her cat sleeping. So she sleeps next to her cat, missing her initial deadline.
She finally wakes her, gives herself a pip talk.
Steps inside the hot computer room, sits on the leather chair and writes.
CHARACTER
Her- soft spoken, but defiant. Gives off completely that she is in control of things, everything, but slowly slipping away. That can be seen in her erratic behavior and constant inconsistencies. Wants to always do well, but doesn’t.
Niece- young, 3, cute, rambunctious, handful – but obedient
Him- makes her stutter, but is more and more unappealing as time progress. Unfortunate because he has a lot of potential, which he strictly uses for work and school.
SCENE
"Generally, it really doesn’t matter why I procrastinate. Like … no excuse is really a good excuse." She muses, "I’ve had ‘Excuses’ drilled into my skull since senior year of High School– I hate them now."
"It wouldn’t kill you to let people know when you plan to dip out especially when you have responsibilities." The ideal would be that one lets those who need to be informed know that something has ‘come up’ and something always ‘comes up’. She just never thinks of any of it as important enough to make one aware of. Or perhaps, the things that have come up are more important than that prior engagement. Therefore, she does not see the need to address the prior engagement at all.
"Excuses are tools of the incompetent. Used to build monuments of nothing. Those who specialize in them seldom amount to anything. Hence, I have messed up magnanimously. Excuses, excuses, excuses." She smiles. "Something like that. If I had known you would have been coming this weekend I would have been done WAY in advance."
"Sure"
"I wasn’t expecting you."
"I know, but you should expect something. Always."
"I try. Especially now." She pauses, almost as if she has reconsidered her stance. Feeling the need to defend herself with a little more humility this time around she says, "I would have done it."
"I know."
She sighs and then laughs, "excuses, excuses, excuses. I recited ‘Excuses’ for him once because he stays with an excuse. He thinks I’m emotionally unstable.""Really?""Mm-hm. I thought that was funny because I’m far from EMOTIONALLY unstable."
"Yeah, we’re not emotionally unstable really."
"I WOULD have done it. I don’t mean to procrastinate as much as I do… I just –"
She’s interrupted, "things come up." The ideal would be that no matter what comes up she would always be prepared. Especially at this time, knowing how her life is. Knowing she should always be prepared. And knowing she doesn’t tell anyone anything about herself which is why the preparedness is so vital. How in one second her sense of self and level of sensibility is completely wiped away and she could possibly be in need of four padded walls and a straight jacket. But because she’s been able to put on a farce for so many years she has not informed any additional people of her propensity to shut off the world. And once she shuts out the world she won’t need four padded walls and a little tiny plastic cup with her daily meds. All she needs is a quiet space and the comfort to know that the outside world is just that – outside.
"I would have done it. I can’t help that I procrastinate, things come up." She gets out of the chair, walks across the room and looks at no one in particular, "you’re a lot better to talk to than most people."
"Its because everyone else is in your head, but I’m really here."
Assignment given.
Moment of uncertainty.
Then clarity, she has a brief idea of what to do for said assignment.
Her initial idea she hates, so she decides to wait until tomorrow for inspiration.
Tomorrow comes and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do. So she does some things that are more fun and entertaining instead.
She takes her niece to the mall to visit Him and then back home.
Goes to sleep because pretending to be a mother is harder than she thought it would be.
Then takes niece to the park and yells at her for getting in the water after being told not to on a particularly cool summer day.
Considers using that experience as material, but than decides it is now too hot to even write anything in her hot computer room, or room, or house – period.
Feels a level of discouragement but plans for better days in the future.
Decides she’s wrong and wants everyone else to know that.
Finally make a huge attempt at the assignment.
But its still hot and that creates a trickle of sweat that falls into her eyes and blinds her.
So she walks away from the computer and into an air-conditioned room, where she finds her cat sleeping. So she sleeps next to her cat, missing her initial deadline.
She finally wakes her, gives herself a pip talk.
Steps inside the hot computer room, sits on the leather chair and writes.
CHARACTER
Her- soft spoken, but defiant. Gives off completely that she is in control of things, everything, but slowly slipping away. That can be seen in her erratic behavior and constant inconsistencies. Wants to always do well, but doesn’t.
Niece- young, 3, cute, rambunctious, handful – but obedient
Him- makes her stutter, but is more and more unappealing as time progress. Unfortunate because he has a lot of potential, which he strictly uses for work and school.
SCENE
"Generally, it really doesn’t matter why I procrastinate. Like … no excuse is really a good excuse." She muses, "I’ve had ‘Excuses’ drilled into my skull since senior year of High School– I hate them now."
"It wouldn’t kill you to let people know when you plan to dip out especially when you have responsibilities." The ideal would be that one lets those who need to be informed know that something has ‘come up’ and something always ‘comes up’. She just never thinks of any of it as important enough to make one aware of. Or perhaps, the things that have come up are more important than that prior engagement. Therefore, she does not see the need to address the prior engagement at all.
"Excuses are tools of the incompetent. Used to build monuments of nothing. Those who specialize in them seldom amount to anything. Hence, I have messed up magnanimously. Excuses, excuses, excuses." She smiles. "Something like that. If I had known you would have been coming this weekend I would have been done WAY in advance."
"Sure"
"I wasn’t expecting you."
"I know, but you should expect something. Always."
"I try. Especially now." She pauses, almost as if she has reconsidered her stance. Feeling the need to defend herself with a little more humility this time around she says, "I would have done it."
"I know."
She sighs and then laughs, "excuses, excuses, excuses. I recited ‘Excuses’ for him once because he stays with an excuse. He thinks I’m emotionally unstable.""Really?""Mm-hm. I thought that was funny because I’m far from EMOTIONALLY unstable."
"Yeah, we’re not emotionally unstable really."
"I WOULD have done it. I don’t mean to procrastinate as much as I do… I just –"
She’s interrupted, "things come up." The ideal would be that no matter what comes up she would always be prepared. Especially at this time, knowing how her life is. Knowing she should always be prepared. And knowing she doesn’t tell anyone anything about herself which is why the preparedness is so vital. How in one second her sense of self and level of sensibility is completely wiped away and she could possibly be in need of four padded walls and a straight jacket. But because she’s been able to put on a farce for so many years she has not informed any additional people of her propensity to shut off the world. And once she shuts out the world she won’t need four padded walls and a little tiny plastic cup with her daily meds. All she needs is a quiet space and the comfort to know that the outside world is just that – outside.
"I would have done it. I can’t help that I procrastinate, things come up." She gets out of the chair, walks across the room and looks at no one in particular, "you’re a lot better to talk to than most people."
"Its because everyone else is in your head, but I’m really here."
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Daily Walks
Characters: Lise- a peasant farmer girl. Does not have a good reputation. Prefers peasant boys. She is 18 years old about 5 feet, four inches tall, she has long blonde hair. Dresses and looks like the St.Pauli girl. Very pretty, but also very uneducated.
Louis: An accomplished musician/composer. No too tall, about five feet, five inches. Dark and ruddy from walking in the sun every day. Somewhat pock-marked. Has a round face. Sometimes would have uncoiffed, uncut, uncombed hair, unshaven heavy beard, and his coat would be bulging with papers. His age is 20. He is very educated in the arts and literature and has a particular interest in politics.
Plot: 1. We meet and are introduced to Louis. We get his background info and establish his social class and standing.
2. Louis is seeking love/woman.
2. On his daily walks he comes across Lise.
3. One day gets courage to go up to her. Tells her his feelings, she reveals who she really is. Louis is confused/upset. A huge storm comes, he sits under a tree and wonders.
5. The next day Louis goes into town to pick up the latest book, he notices Lise’s father getting killed. Walks away as if nothing and skips his daily walk.
6. The next day Louis finds his way to Lise’s house. Since her father is not there she invites him in. They have sex. Louis conscience is catching up to him. He tells Lise what happened to her father. Lise kills Louis thinking that he killed her father so that he could sleep with her.
7. The next day Lise is back outside lustily yielding her pitchfork and hunting simple peasant boys.
It is another hot and humid day. The sun is blasting. Its heat shows no mercy for anything or anyone. The fish are dying in the local pond and the streets aren’t as crowded. Everybody rather stay home and not go out if they have no reason to. Louis although never skips out on his daily walk which helps his mind to relax and puts him at ease, but especially now when he has met Lise. She is the joy and motivation for his daily walks now. “Wow what a girl” he thought to himself. “I must go out now before its too late and she is going hide herself from me”. Louis grabbed his coat and hat. He knew it was too hot for the coat but looking at the sky he observed clouds forming and figured that it would rain later. As he went out he rolled up his sleeves and let his white handkerchief drag along the ground in his right hand. He reached the courtyard gate at once. For a moment he only observed. “Look at her, that giddy fair, standing on a hay cart, lustily yielding her fork amid her incessant laughter”. His passion for her grew more intense. He stood a while longer waiting for her to take note of him. At last she did.
“Is that you again, you ugly, half-mad beast?” she questioned him. “I see you here every day looking at me. You know if my father would see you he would throw you in the river”. Louis just stood taking in each word as if it was honey. “You know I am quite fond of you” he finally spoke his first words to her. “Is that right? How is it that a man such as yourself would like a girl like me, a farmer’s daughter?” Louis proceeded to put his hand on the gate to open it. But he quickly paused himself as if not to scare her. “Oh really, is that so. You want to come in?” Her smile made her look even more lustily then did her pitchfork. Louis figured that he has nothing to lose and he proceeded into the courtyard. Lise approached him. Their faces got closer together and the hot breath they gave out made the day even hotter. “But you know something” she said with a grin. “My taste runs more towards peasant boys”. Louis stood there confused. He wasn’t sure if this was a form of rejection or a form of insult. “Well I’m sure you based on your reputation around town.” At this he looked her over again. Her white blouse was whiter then snow, her black girdle made her look even more sensuous, and the red skirt, which just barely reached her knees, made him want her even more. “So are you just going to stand there and keep starring?” Louis felt the need to retract, to walk out and to close the gate behind him. He did. “Well if you change your mind I will be here morrow and the day after that, and the day after that” she yelled as he was slowly walking away with his back turned. “My father will be out of town next week maybe then you may have me” she continued to yell. Louis just kept on walking thinking about what had just happened. Is at love at first sight or is it lust at first sight? He wondered. As the clouds got more attached to each other and connected to form a gray blanket over the land a huge deluge of a storm came. Louis quickly put his coat on and ran to the nearest tree to hide. As he sat and listened to the sounds of the rain he wondered what his walk tomorrow would bring him.
Louis: An accomplished musician/composer. No too tall, about five feet, five inches. Dark and ruddy from walking in the sun every day. Somewhat pock-marked. Has a round face. Sometimes would have uncoiffed, uncut, uncombed hair, unshaven heavy beard, and his coat would be bulging with papers. His age is 20. He is very educated in the arts and literature and has a particular interest in politics.
Plot: 1. We meet and are introduced to Louis. We get his background info and establish his social class and standing.
2. Louis is seeking love/woman.
2. On his daily walks he comes across Lise.
3. One day gets courage to go up to her. Tells her his feelings, she reveals who she really is. Louis is confused/upset. A huge storm comes, he sits under a tree and wonders.
5. The next day Louis goes into town to pick up the latest book, he notices Lise’s father getting killed. Walks away as if nothing and skips his daily walk.
6. The next day Louis finds his way to Lise’s house. Since her father is not there she invites him in. They have sex. Louis conscience is catching up to him. He tells Lise what happened to her father. Lise kills Louis thinking that he killed her father so that he could sleep with her.
7. The next day Lise is back outside lustily yielding her pitchfork and hunting simple peasant boys.
It is another hot and humid day. The sun is blasting. Its heat shows no mercy for anything or anyone. The fish are dying in the local pond and the streets aren’t as crowded. Everybody rather stay home and not go out if they have no reason to. Louis although never skips out on his daily walk which helps his mind to relax and puts him at ease, but especially now when he has met Lise. She is the joy and motivation for his daily walks now. “Wow what a girl” he thought to himself. “I must go out now before its too late and she is going hide herself from me”. Louis grabbed his coat and hat. He knew it was too hot for the coat but looking at the sky he observed clouds forming and figured that it would rain later. As he went out he rolled up his sleeves and let his white handkerchief drag along the ground in his right hand. He reached the courtyard gate at once. For a moment he only observed. “Look at her, that giddy fair, standing on a hay cart, lustily yielding her fork amid her incessant laughter”. His passion for her grew more intense. He stood a while longer waiting for her to take note of him. At last she did.
“Is that you again, you ugly, half-mad beast?” she questioned him. “I see you here every day looking at me. You know if my father would see you he would throw you in the river”. Louis just stood taking in each word as if it was honey. “You know I am quite fond of you” he finally spoke his first words to her. “Is that right? How is it that a man such as yourself would like a girl like me, a farmer’s daughter?” Louis proceeded to put his hand on the gate to open it. But he quickly paused himself as if not to scare her. “Oh really, is that so. You want to come in?” Her smile made her look even more lustily then did her pitchfork. Louis figured that he has nothing to lose and he proceeded into the courtyard. Lise approached him. Their faces got closer together and the hot breath they gave out made the day even hotter. “But you know something” she said with a grin. “My taste runs more towards peasant boys”. Louis stood there confused. He wasn’t sure if this was a form of rejection or a form of insult. “Well I’m sure you based on your reputation around town.” At this he looked her over again. Her white blouse was whiter then snow, her black girdle made her look even more sensuous, and the red skirt, which just barely reached her knees, made him want her even more. “So are you just going to stand there and keep starring?” Louis felt the need to retract, to walk out and to close the gate behind him. He did. “Well if you change your mind I will be here morrow and the day after that, and the day after that” she yelled as he was slowly walking away with his back turned. “My father will be out of town next week maybe then you may have me” she continued to yell. Louis just kept on walking thinking about what had just happened. Is at love at first sight or is it lust at first sight? He wondered. As the clouds got more attached to each other and connected to form a gray blanket over the land a huge deluge of a storm came. Louis quickly put his coat on and ran to the nearest tree to hide. As he sat and listened to the sounds of the rain he wondered what his walk tomorrow would bring him.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Plot:
Jean, A thirty-two year old failing author returns home after working at her part-time job as a waitress. She is living out in a big city, any which one the reader decides to imagine. It is late at night, after a long day’s work, and Jean begins settling into her small, run down, shabby looking apartment. During this mundane process, random but significant memories of her youth and poignant aspects of her life are visualized (and thoroughly described by me, the author). These thoughts include:
1. Her relationship with her girlfriend Jenny.
2. Her experience as a nine year old girl walking in on her father cheating with another woman.
3. Living with her father, alone, after her mother died shortly after her parent’s divorce. Combined, these thoughts cast her onto the brink of the depressive abyss where she often arrives after pensive and contemplative nights such as this.
- After a quick escape granted by a relaxing weed session followed by a satisfying munchies session with ice cream, she attempts to go to sleep, where the labyrinth of circling thoughts continue to plague her restless mind. Visions of her relationship with her last boyfriend briefly come up while she is still awake and linger in her dreams, where other strange characters from her life make appearances. She suddenly awakes and sits perplexed from the oddity of her dreams.
- The next day is the anniversary of her mother’s death, and as a tradition, she goes to her mother’s gravesite to talk to her. At the grave, a conversation in Jean’s mind ensues between her and her dead mother. Essentially, it is Jean’s own conscience that she is talking to, as the details of the story explain. This conversation is mainly argumentative, an inner struggle of Jean’s on how to deal with her feelings towards her father. The story ends with end of that semi-monologue.
Characters:
Jean is the main character of this story. She is the only character actually present throughout the entire story. All of the other characters only appear from the images of her mind. She is a very complex and confused individual whose life experiences have had significant affects on her own personal development. She is quite short and extremely thin, with ghostly white skin and very small bodily features, such as her hands, nose, mouth, cheeks, etc. Her small breasts make her appear adolescent-like. Only her thick and long brown hair, which seems like it was modeled in a herbal essence commercial, gives her the appearance of a woman and not of a child. Unfortunately, she lacks the determination and steadfastness of an adult, and lacks the ability to properly cope with difficult situations. She has given up on men and pursued a superficial interest in women, acting more on confusion than a homosexual drive. She doesn’t believe in psychiatric diseases or psychotherapy but would be diagnosed with manic depression if she were to visit a psychiatrist. Needy and yet never satisfied, she enjoys only the orgasmic moments of life, but is never content with the monotone.
Jean’s father is a giant man who shares not one feature with Jean. If one was forced to believe him the father of this girl, they would have to conclude that the 23 chromosomes he contributed were all secondary to her mother’s. His giant face and giant features emphasize his manhood. His enormous forehead, which always seems sweaty, projects a bulging blue vein at all times. His dark skin seems even darker from the thick layers of black hair that line all visible parts of his body, save his face. He towers over nearly everyone he sees, including his daughter and his wife, the latter being only slightly taller than Jean. He loves his daughter deeply but fails to comprehend what love really means. (What does love really mean, you ask? Regardless of that answer, let us say that her father definitely does not know that answer.) Unknowingly, he is extremely selfish and acts deceitfully in getting things to go his way, though he is never fully aware of the deceit he employs. Nevertheless, the implication of his intentions generally succeeds in attracting others to pityingly love him in return.
Scene:
Finally, sleep overtakes her. And in her dreams she struggles with the seemingly disconnected images that present themselves. First, she finds herself standing at the edge of a cliff by the sea, where heaps of garbage line the rocky slope to the restless waves at the bottom. The strong ocean breeze penetrates her small, flimsy ears, shutting out other sounds. Feeling like she will fall at any moment, and strangely almost wanting to, she feels some sort of barrier at the edge, preventing her from falling. Suddenly Jean is no longer standing on the cliff's edge but floating abover the water. This allows her to observe the cliffs and the heaps of garbage upon its slope from an entirely new angle, a surreal image. At such heights, the levels of anticapation soon rise, she feels like she should fall into the deep at any moment, and yet she remains drifting in the air. And then, all of a sudden, Jean is surrounded, is somewhere indoors. As is the plunge into those waters has finally been made, a feeling of completing-The feeling of the place gives her much comfort, as if she is not living but only floating in some spiritual form, feeling continuous satisfaction and pleasure. A hazy blue covers all space around her, and she floats in her world of content.
Out from the distance appears Mike, and since he is present, she loves him, overwhelmingly loves him. He appears as handsome as he had been the first night they slept together, and his beauty resonates from his face. She knows she loves him, and feels the sensation and comfort she felt when she first went out with him. He slowly gets closer, closer to her, and she sees in his eyes that thier feelings of love are mutual. But with every step that brings him closer to her, the cosmic blue turns into a darker, more frightening color, until it is an entirely black world. The content which she felt upon first entering this microcosmic world slowly dissipates, and that awful feeling of nervousness and anxiety which she felt moments before walking home with her mother that awful day begin rousing in her stomach again, a fear which she has fought to keep away for a long time.
It is an entirely new dream. Suddenly Mike is nowhere near her, as he had been just moments before. Instead he stands in the distance and again begins approaching Jean, only this time he is not alone. She still loves him, but some way or another, both are aware that she has declared her feelings of homosexuality.
“I’m sure you know Sasha already. Nevertheless, it would be extremely ungentlemanly of me to not introduce her to you”, says Mike, though his mouth never moves but the words are coherent.
“Why would you ever bring her here? How many times do I have to tell you” cries Jean, but Mike doesn’t seem to hear a word she says.
“We’re going to get married, and I figured you should be there, considering it won’t be something that bothers you. I mean, why should it anyway? I’m not wrong, am I? If anything, if you feel uncomfortable at all, it’s only your fault. You know, all that sadness is our own fault, anyway.”
And without haste, Jean grabs Sasha and kisses her madly, though entirely lacking of passion. Though she is kissing Sasha, her image has stepped outside of herself. She can see her own body kissing the girl, but her eyes only see Mike, standing there with a wry smile, standing there and knowing something she doesn’t. Suddenly, Sasha becomes Jenny, the way that people often suddenly change characters in dreams. The pleasures of the kiss are immediately recognized by Jean, and the moment becomes odder, less comfortable, but more sensual. Abruptly, Mike pulls Jenny away from Jean. Jean tries to bring her back, stretching her arms out to get her back but cannot extend them far enough. The feeling of yearning is distressing, and the level of anxiety again rises. And Jenny puts on the same wry smile Mike had adorned. Spitting out some white substance from her mouth, Jenny mutters “You bitch. It’s all your fault”, and fades out.
Waking up, Jean cried heavily, plagued with that same feeling of yearning that has clearly lingered from her strange dream. “What the hell was that”, she thought to herself. “What in the hell was that?” Sitting in her muck and confusion, she remembered how badly she did not want to go tomorrow, and would rather just sleep until three. “Well you know what, even in sleep I can’t get any rest! Ah, this is horrible. What am I gonna do?” Picking up her phone she begins to text Jenny.
“Hope I dnt wake u. Jus had fked up dream. Not doin well. If ur up, call me. If not, ill talk 2 u in the morning.” But before writing “luv u” as usual, she thought about what Jenny said in the dream. And angrily, as if she had to get her back, she tossed the phone on the floor without sending the text. With a great sigh and light tears forming in her dark brown, sullen eyes, she laid down on her pillows and fell right back to sleep. Other dreams came and went, but only the strange dreams of the cliffs and the encounter with Mike brought about that discomfort she felt the next morning.
Jean, A thirty-two year old failing author returns home after working at her part-time job as a waitress. She is living out in a big city, any which one the reader decides to imagine. It is late at night, after a long day’s work, and Jean begins settling into her small, run down, shabby looking apartment. During this mundane process, random but significant memories of her youth and poignant aspects of her life are visualized (and thoroughly described by me, the author). These thoughts include:
1. Her relationship with her girlfriend Jenny.
2. Her experience as a nine year old girl walking in on her father cheating with another woman.
3. Living with her father, alone, after her mother died shortly after her parent’s divorce. Combined, these thoughts cast her onto the brink of the depressive abyss where she often arrives after pensive and contemplative nights such as this.
- After a quick escape granted by a relaxing weed session followed by a satisfying munchies session with ice cream, she attempts to go to sleep, where the labyrinth of circling thoughts continue to plague her restless mind. Visions of her relationship with her last boyfriend briefly come up while she is still awake and linger in her dreams, where other strange characters from her life make appearances. She suddenly awakes and sits perplexed from the oddity of her dreams.
- The next day is the anniversary of her mother’s death, and as a tradition, she goes to her mother’s gravesite to talk to her. At the grave, a conversation in Jean’s mind ensues between her and her dead mother. Essentially, it is Jean’s own conscience that she is talking to, as the details of the story explain. This conversation is mainly argumentative, an inner struggle of Jean’s on how to deal with her feelings towards her father. The story ends with end of that semi-monologue.
Characters:
Jean is the main character of this story. She is the only character actually present throughout the entire story. All of the other characters only appear from the images of her mind. She is a very complex and confused individual whose life experiences have had significant affects on her own personal development. She is quite short and extremely thin, with ghostly white skin and very small bodily features, such as her hands, nose, mouth, cheeks, etc. Her small breasts make her appear adolescent-like. Only her thick and long brown hair, which seems like it was modeled in a herbal essence commercial, gives her the appearance of a woman and not of a child. Unfortunately, she lacks the determination and steadfastness of an adult, and lacks the ability to properly cope with difficult situations. She has given up on men and pursued a superficial interest in women, acting more on confusion than a homosexual drive. She doesn’t believe in psychiatric diseases or psychotherapy but would be diagnosed with manic depression if she were to visit a psychiatrist. Needy and yet never satisfied, she enjoys only the orgasmic moments of life, but is never content with the monotone.
Jean’s father is a giant man who shares not one feature with Jean. If one was forced to believe him the father of this girl, they would have to conclude that the 23 chromosomes he contributed were all secondary to her mother’s. His giant face and giant features emphasize his manhood. His enormous forehead, which always seems sweaty, projects a bulging blue vein at all times. His dark skin seems even darker from the thick layers of black hair that line all visible parts of his body, save his face. He towers over nearly everyone he sees, including his daughter and his wife, the latter being only slightly taller than Jean. He loves his daughter deeply but fails to comprehend what love really means. (What does love really mean, you ask? Regardless of that answer, let us say that her father definitely does not know that answer.) Unknowingly, he is extremely selfish and acts deceitfully in getting things to go his way, though he is never fully aware of the deceit he employs. Nevertheless, the implication of his intentions generally succeeds in attracting others to pityingly love him in return.
Scene:
Finally, sleep overtakes her. And in her dreams she struggles with the seemingly disconnected images that present themselves. First, she finds herself standing at the edge of a cliff by the sea, where heaps of garbage line the rocky slope to the restless waves at the bottom. The strong ocean breeze penetrates her small, flimsy ears, shutting out other sounds. Feeling like she will fall at any moment, and strangely almost wanting to, she feels some sort of barrier at the edge, preventing her from falling. Suddenly Jean is no longer standing on the cliff's edge but floating abover the water. This allows her to observe the cliffs and the heaps of garbage upon its slope from an entirely new angle, a surreal image. At such heights, the levels of anticapation soon rise, she feels like she should fall into the deep at any moment, and yet she remains drifting in the air. And then, all of a sudden, Jean is surrounded, is somewhere indoors. As is the plunge into those waters has finally been made, a feeling of completing-The feeling of the place gives her much comfort, as if she is not living but only floating in some spiritual form, feeling continuous satisfaction and pleasure. A hazy blue covers all space around her, and she floats in her world of content.
Out from the distance appears Mike, and since he is present, she loves him, overwhelmingly loves him. He appears as handsome as he had been the first night they slept together, and his beauty resonates from his face. She knows she loves him, and feels the sensation and comfort she felt when she first went out with him. He slowly gets closer, closer to her, and she sees in his eyes that thier feelings of love are mutual. But with every step that brings him closer to her, the cosmic blue turns into a darker, more frightening color, until it is an entirely black world. The content which she felt upon first entering this microcosmic world slowly dissipates, and that awful feeling of nervousness and anxiety which she felt moments before walking home with her mother that awful day begin rousing in her stomach again, a fear which she has fought to keep away for a long time.
It is an entirely new dream. Suddenly Mike is nowhere near her, as he had been just moments before. Instead he stands in the distance and again begins approaching Jean, only this time he is not alone. She still loves him, but some way or another, both are aware that she has declared her feelings of homosexuality.
“I’m sure you know Sasha already. Nevertheless, it would be extremely ungentlemanly of me to not introduce her to you”, says Mike, though his mouth never moves but the words are coherent.
“Why would you ever bring her here? How many times do I have to tell you” cries Jean, but Mike doesn’t seem to hear a word she says.
“We’re going to get married, and I figured you should be there, considering it won’t be something that bothers you. I mean, why should it anyway? I’m not wrong, am I? If anything, if you feel uncomfortable at all, it’s only your fault. You know, all that sadness is our own fault, anyway.”
And without haste, Jean grabs Sasha and kisses her madly, though entirely lacking of passion. Though she is kissing Sasha, her image has stepped outside of herself. She can see her own body kissing the girl, but her eyes only see Mike, standing there with a wry smile, standing there and knowing something she doesn’t. Suddenly, Sasha becomes Jenny, the way that people often suddenly change characters in dreams. The pleasures of the kiss are immediately recognized by Jean, and the moment becomes odder, less comfortable, but more sensual. Abruptly, Mike pulls Jenny away from Jean. Jean tries to bring her back, stretching her arms out to get her back but cannot extend them far enough. The feeling of yearning is distressing, and the level of anxiety again rises. And Jenny puts on the same wry smile Mike had adorned. Spitting out some white substance from her mouth, Jenny mutters “You bitch. It’s all your fault”, and fades out.
Waking up, Jean cried heavily, plagued with that same feeling of yearning that has clearly lingered from her strange dream. “What the hell was that”, she thought to herself. “What in the hell was that?” Sitting in her muck and confusion, she remembered how badly she did not want to go tomorrow, and would rather just sleep until three. “Well you know what, even in sleep I can’t get any rest! Ah, this is horrible. What am I gonna do?” Picking up her phone she begins to text Jenny.
“Hope I dnt wake u. Jus had fked up dream. Not doin well. If ur up, call me. If not, ill talk 2 u in the morning.” But before writing “luv u” as usual, she thought about what Jenny said in the dream. And angrily, as if she had to get her back, she tossed the phone on the floor without sending the text. With a great sigh and light tears forming in her dark brown, sullen eyes, she laid down on her pillows and fell right back to sleep. Other dreams came and went, but only the strange dreams of the cliffs and the encounter with Mike brought about that discomfort she felt the next morning.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dear Mr. Wessen
“Dear Mr. Wessen”
Outline of Plot
1. Cal Wessen is hunting alone out on his property in Kansas during the early morning. He is in the woods hunting for any kind of animal; he has neither a particular objective nor preference for game. After killing 5 bucks, 3 wild bobcats, 2 enormous buffalo, and a dozen or so rabbits, Cal decides to call it a day and head back home to his wife, Dawn.
2. Upon returning home, Cal sees a dead doe in the middle of the road in front of his house, assuming it must have been hit by a passing car. He takes the animal’s body to the back of his house and finds the doe’s newly born baby sitting under a tree nearby.
3. Cal takes in the baby deer into his house. Dawn is appalled by the sight of a wild baby deer inside of her home. Cal explains the situation with its mother and how he didn’t want to leave the baby deer left to die in their own backyard. Dawn agrees. They decide to name it Devin.
4. Montage – Time passes as Dawn and Devin become very close, she treats him as if the animal were her son. Her attention, time, and life becomes totally focused on Devin and this strains her relationship with Cal. Cal begins spending more time out in the woods, sometimes staying out for days.
5. Dawn cares for the deer until Devin is too big for the home. Devin’s hormones also begin to kick in and he has his first outburst. Cal and Dawn fight over Devin and the situation. Cal’s jealousy over his wife’s love for Devin causes him to erupt and he abuses his wife. Dawn leaves their home with her suitcase crying.
6. Cal is alone building a pen for Devin which will represent also as an apology to Dawn. Once finished, he brings Devin to his new home. As Cal struggles with a rope around Devin’s neck, he tries to force the now fully grown deer into the pen. Devin snaps and bucks out the pen dragging Cal wildly and viscously for miles until he is dead.
Description of Characters
Cal Wessen is a wealthy retired country man in his mid fifties. He’s about six foot, with long pearl white hair that he combs back under his cowboy hat, a lengthy white mustache, and a dark tan that makes all his hair stand out that much more. His personality is drawn in, conflicted, and high strung. He’s an outdoorsman, he enjoys going to gun shows, buying new gear for hunting, and Wal-Mart. Cal’s home is filled with a variety of animals he has hunted in the past and which he stuffed himself. But he never has a feeling of completion or satisfaction. He spends most of his time out in the woods searching for something he cannot find. He finds the woods to be much more comfortable than being with his wife Dawn, whom he’s been married to for twenty two years. Cal feels freedom and a lack of direction out in the middle of Kansas hunting, which contrasts his feelings about his marriage.
Dawn is a young passionate woman in her early thirties. She was originally from a small city in Kansas and had met Cal when he was leaving one of his gun shows downtown. After a few months, she agreed to marry him and move out to the country with him. She is gorgeous, with light green eyes, a slender figure, and long blonde hair. Her personality reflects her looks, she is kind hearted, intelligent, and strong. Cal and Dawn had tried to have children of their own in the past but were unsuccessful, this pain had transformed into much fighting for the two. Dawn keeps a firm stance in her relationship for the most part, but once she makes Cal feel defeated, the only way he can retaliate is by hitting her. Dawn is much smarter than Cal but his monetary position dominantly keeps the two together.
Scene
Cal woke up the next day with the entire bed sheets popped off the bed, pillows on the floor, and blankets in total chaos. He normally didn’t sleep well, but last night looked like a war took place. It was normal. After a bad fight with Dawn, whether she slept with him in the bed or not, the bed would be a mess and Cal’s dreams would be horrific. Last night was no different. He dreamt of Dawn leaving him for another man, he had imagined watching over their wedding and feelings of regret and torment filled his heart. But one weird thing was Cal couldn’t see the groom’s face in last nights dream. He searched the house and property, but Dawn didn’t return. He was alone.
After breakfast, Cal decided to go and make the pen for Devin so once Dawn came back; she could see he was truly sorry. He already had the posts and fencing from a previous job he had done, so he could use those to build Devin’s new home.
In his mind, Cal had already mapped out the size of the pen and where it would be. He chose a spot far from the house and where Devin would receive hardly any shade from the sun. After hammering in the posts into the ground, Cal laughed to himself rolling out the chain link fence. The pen was fenced off from top to bottom; it was about 7 feet by height and 10 feet in length. After completing the pen, Cal wanted Devin out of his house and to stay in the pen for good.
Cal went into the house to get Devin out of his room bringing a rope with him to tie the animal and to situate the deer into its new home. Cal placed the rope around Devin’s neck and tied a very strong knot around his arms to help himself pull the animal. Devin seemed very relaxed and passive as Cal tugged as he led. Once Cal faced Devin in front of the pen, Devin begins to resist and turn into stone, not allowing Cal to move the animal. After cursing and threatening the animal, Cal’s determined to pull Devin inside. He re-adjusts his rope knots quickly and has both his arms fully tied. After using up all his strength cursing and tugging, he finally takes a minute for a breath.
It’s not a second later when Devin bucks into the pen dragging Cal right behind with him. The old man can do nothing, his arms are so twisted and tied into the rope he has no shot as releasing himself. He is caught by total surprise he has no time to actually say or do anything. Devin is charging as hard as he possible could, running rapidly through Cal’s property, slowly breaking every bone in the old man’s body. Cal prays for his arms to hopefully rip come off so he can be freed but he is dragged on for miles violently up down many paths until he is breathless.
Standing Still
Outline
-The story begins with a young man arguing with his girlfriend.
-The young man leaves her apartment.
-He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car on his way to the subway station.
-Once in the subway station, the young man runs into his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years.
-They speak briefly.
-The young man rides the subway.
-He gets off the train and walks by a homeless man he once met whose words had always stuck with him.
-The young man exits the subway station where he sees a big field.
-The young man sees a stray dog.
-It looks much like the dog he had growing up.
-The young man follows the dog down a path nearby that takes him to a lake.
-Fishing off a pier is his favorite teacher from college.
-The young man joins him on a boat.
-They spend the afternoon catching up.
-Next, the young man falls into the water and starts to drown.
-He awakes in a hospital bed to find he has been in a coma.
-He had been in a coma for over a year after being hit by a car.
-The whole story was really the dream he had while in a coma after his near death experience.
Major Characters
1)Andrew-
Andrew is in his late-twenties. He is tall and lean but athletic. He has brown eyes, short brown hair, and a tan complexion. His sharp features are softened by a five o’clock shadow. He is the type of person who puts everything he has into the things he does, but changes his focus quickly and easily, so he finds it hard to commit to jobs, girlfriends, etc. People often perceive his distractedness as absentmindedness. He also finds it hard to balance things in moderation because of the intensity with which he approaches things. He is wearing a sweater and jeans, since the story takes place in autumn in New York. He’s getting older, but still has the appearance of a college guy.
2)The childhood best friend-
This character has a more clean cut approach to life. He’s very organized and this is made evident by the suit-and-tie work attire the young man finds him in. He has brown eyes, fair complexion, and neatly styled light brown hair. He wears thick-rimmed designer glasses. He wears a wedding ring on his left hand and carries a briefcase. He is shorter and less fit than the young man. He is very practical. He always appreciated the young man’s passion for things growing up, but as an adult he cannot understand the young man’s lack of planning or balance when considering the future.
3)The college professor-
The young man’s college professor is middle-aged. Despite fishing on a pier, he wears a button down shirt and a blazer with slacks. He has a full head of salt and pepper hair, a round face, and pale blue eyes. His demeanor is warm and familiar, like a grandfather. He has a slow pace to his speech. He is very intelligent and has traveled in his life a lot. He has experienced great challenges and losses but he has taken lessons from everything that he enjoys passing onto his students in excerpts.
Scene
A few steps out of the subway, Andrew no longer felt the hard sidewalk under his feet. He looked up to see a field that stretched almost as far as his eyes could see. The wind blew it into a big green blur. He was starting to wonder if he had accidentally gotten off the train at the wrong stop. He had his headphones on when the train conductor was making announcements, so he figured it was possible he’d missed something. He looked back in the direction he had come from, but all he could see was trees. Before he had a chance to think any more about it, a rustling in the grass nearby distracted him.
“Hey,” he called out to the commotion, as he began to approach it. Looking down, he saw a beagle much like the one he had growing up. “Hi there,” Andrew said, bending down to let the dog smell his hand. The dog nuzzled its head into Andrew’s arm. “I used to have a dog just like you when I was a kid. He used to follow me everywhere. God, I loved that dog. I named him Jingles because I got him for Christmas.” The dog began to nudge Andrew’s feet. Andrew followed the dog through a tree-lined path that eventually led down to a lake. The dog jumped right in and began swimming around and playing. The lake was quiet except for one house at the end of a pier. On that pier was a lone man standing and fishing.
“Sorry,” Andrew called out, “is this private property?”
“It is private property, but I allow the occasional visit from old students,” the man called back. Andrew recognized that slow, distinctive voice.
“Professor Wright?” Andrew yelled.
“Aren’t you gonna come say hello?“ asked Professor Wright.
Andrew walked around the lake to meet his favorite college professor. “It’s so great to see you,” Andrew said as he hugged Professor Wright. “You haven’t changed a bit! What neighborhood is this? I got off the subway without paying attention. I think I missed my stop. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had,” Andrew continued. “Sounds like you haven’t changed a bit either,” Professor Wright laughed. “Grab that fishing rod. If you’ve got some time to kill, I’d like to hear all about your day. We can take my boat out on the lake and do some fishing. Fresh air always helps me.”
Andrew and Professor Wright spoke for hours. Andrew told Professor Wright all about losing his job, and how that caused the fight with Meg. Andrew explained how he had run into Steve in the subway station. Andrew tried to make sense of the day’s events, but he drew a blank. “It’s like everything is moving so fast around me sometimes, and I’m just standing still. Meg’s looking to get married and have kids, with or without me. Steve is a stockbroker who is married with 2 kids! What happened to the days when we could all just relax and let things happen? Now it’s like everyone is in such a hurry to get somewhere. Until there’s someplace to rush off to, I’m taking my time.” Professor Wright looked at Andrew and shook his head.
“Now Andrew, can you blame them? Are they rushing or just moving forward? You’re a smart person but you really limit yourself sometimes. It’s tunnel vision. Look at the big picture. Your refusal to accept the changes of adult life has left you alone. Meg and Steve want you to move forward. We all do. But if you keep pushing away the people who want to help you, it’s a lost cause. Indecision is a decision in itself. The world won’t wait for you to decide. You have to make things happen, or it truly will just pass you by. I remember when I came back from my first trip to Africa. Before I left, I couldn’t decide whether or not I should end the relationship I was in. Well wouldn’t you know, 7 months later I came back refreshed with a new perspective, ready for a commitment, but my girl had moved on. So you see my indecision became my decision, and time chose for me. I learned that sometimes things move fast, yes. But if you stand still, you miss out. Take life at your own pace, but don’t spend it idle. Don’t miss out.”
Andrew felt a tug on his fishing line. “Hey, I think I caught something,” he said. The line tugged harder. “Reel it in,” Professor Wright said. Andrew tried to pull his line up, but the fish on the other end was putting up a good fight. Andrew refused to let this fish embarrass him. He gave one final yank backwards and the line snapped, sending him tumbling backwards and over the side of the boat. He tried to swim to the surface but his limbs seized up like they might in a bad dream. Panic set in. Andrew had been a champion swimmer in high school and now he couldn’t seem to remember a single thing about swimming. He sank like a paperweight, unable to lift his arms or legs. The lake seemed bottomless. His panic began to ease as his oxygen supply diminished. He didn’t know if it was acceptance or denial, but he was going to die.
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