Before Cal pulled into his driveway, he lowered ACDC on the radio and spotted a deer carcass lying directly on top of the double yellow lines painted on the wide country road in front of his old white colonial house. He stopped his pickup with a loud screech and marched over to find the midsized doe critically injured. Cal examined the deer. Its hind legs had been hit by a passing car and appeared to be broken. He wondered to himself whether the deer had crawled on top of the lines or had landed like this after being hit. The cries coming from the deer made it clear life was coming to an abrupt end sooner than later. Cal really had no idea how to help the deer and figured the best thing he could do was put the animal out of its misery since it would live the rest of its short life in pain. The sun had just begun to sink below the horizon when Cal took a deep breath and decided to go forward with his sacrifice. He had never thought of his hunting in that regard and he began to play with the idea inside of his head.
As Cal dragged the deer to the backyard, he strolled to his truck and snatched his shotgun. Cal placed the whining animal on its stomach and aimed at the back of its skull. This was the cheapest kill of ‘em all, he thought to himself, placing his callused pointer finger on the trigger, and making a final adjustment to his aim. But right before Cal could shoot, he was interrupted by a loud cry coming from his right. Cal instantly spotted a baby deer sitting under a very tall tree in his backyard about 20 yards away. The baby couldn’t have been more than two weeks old, he thought. He knew the doe was its mother, whom he pictured had earlier left her baby under the tree as she went out to fetch food.
Cal walked towards the baby deer, becoming mesmerized as he observed the deer’s courage to not run away or back down from him. He picked it up from under the tree. As he stared it directly into its eyes, he thought about the fight Dawn would make if he brought it home and suggested to keep it. As Cal became fixated in his mind about all the valid points and great rebuttals he could raise in this next bout with Dawn, he absentmindedly put the fawn down. While he was playing out this drama in his head, an even louder cry interrupted him this time. His head snapped, being brought back to reality and saw the doe crying to her baby. The baby was now lying next to his mother, mimicking the same position she was in, with his head lying on her back and licking her fur. Cal watched the doe in her last minutes ignore the pain she was in and nurture her own baby right back as if her love for him could overpower anything in this world.
Cal knew what he had to do and picked up the fawn and placed him on the deck in the backyard still in sight of what was going on. He went back to the doe, picked up the shotgun from the floor, and quickly shot the deer in the back of the head. Normally the odor from firing his shotgun put Cal in a euphoric state, but this time when inhaled, it made him cough. He looked down and saw that the deer’s head had been disintegrated by the blast, fragments were scattered all over the grass. Blood was leaking profusely from the neck. Cal couldn’t help but steal a look from the fawn in his peripheral vision, which seemed not to make a sound or move when the shot went off. The baby observed his motionless mother and what had just transpired.
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Touching, really quite touching. Love to see a bit more of the potential fight: I was thinking of lines along these lines 'He knew She would say ... and he would say...' It would give us a little window into what's comign with them. For the most part you're doing everything with strong physical detail, and I'd stick with that rather than 'Cal watched the doe in her last minutes ignore the pain she was in and nurture her own baby right back as if her love for him could overpower anything in this world' sorts of lines. The last half of this (the editorial half) probably isn't necessary if you're described the interaction between the deer effectively, and I think you have.
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