That was the beginning of the end for me. Across the same circular dinner table in the same offensively fluorescent lit Chinese restaurant, she is wearing a sporty feminine black tank top with dark blue jeans. I know her, for almost three years as we attended the same school and even studied music together, a mutual passion we both share. The silence is infuriating, I’ve been confused for weeks.
“So, what did you think of the debates the other night?” she asks.
I scream through the muffling of the mask, “I got two pair, Jacks over Nines!”
I was embarrassed, but it’s evident we are both attracted to each other. I don’t know what it is. She speaks so well and sounds confident in saying anything, awkwardly looking about in the distance towards my direction. I began to worry with tears starting to form in my swollen eyes. Everything hurt, my body was aching from the sunburn I had, my face was as red as a lobster and my eyes felt like they were being pulled out from the back of my skull. Loud noises suddenly bombard my senses, overpowering my ability to think straight.
“God why are we here? This is horrible!” my father yells.
I’m not going to lie, my father died this afternoon. Normally people don’t overreact this way. My mind is jumping, trying to figure out how a torrent of blurred thoughts comes streaming through the inside of my head. Although I am in a tipsy state of mind I do not feel the heat.
“Would you like some tea?” she asks, with a face I’ve never seen before.
"I get it Dad, it is my fault as usual…I know." I scream as he stands up.
Unknown to what has happened I am frozen in my position lingering, and incapable of action. I didn’t know what was going on but she starts to freak out.
“Are you playing some sick joke on me?”she says half-smilingly.
She is less than a decibel away from screaming. Her accusations have no merit, nothing between her and I have changed. She’s completely wrong and she’s even more wrong to wait for me to leave. I sit there not saying a word, barely moving.
I hear her voice again without having to look at her while I am staring down.
A thunderous laughter erupts all around me, at this point it is safe to say that my heart dropped down into my pants. Any second I’m waiting for Dante to show up and sit down next to me, because I’m pretty sure this is one of the circles of Hell. My body is frozen instantly of confusion and hurt. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for that. It’s too much pressure. There is too much pressure. I got up from my seat with more clarity, responding with as much sarcasm as I can muster, I say, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
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i considered doing this also, but i think you executed it way better than i would have. it's impressively coherent.
ReplyDeletethis rocks!
ReplyDeletethx =)
ReplyDelete@C.c
just cause I posted it first, doesn't mean you can't use the same concept of using the class's works.
"Great minds think alike" - har,har,har :D
I doubt you would've used the same unreliable narrator to drive the story.
@b.t
Thx for writing your story =D
Very interesting, as I said in class. I love the moment when, as a reader, the echo of familiarity in the back of one's head becomes more certain and one realizes where one has heard these lines before, which leads to a moment of distraction which makes one lose the thread of the story which then forces a new kind of attention. Very difficult to manage effectively, but I think you have. Still wondering at how one could do something like this for a larger audience--the trick being a source that many people are deeply familiar with...
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing, that for a larger audience, they would first need to read all of the stories which the lines were taken from. In order to have the same effect.
ReplyDelete