PAGE 1
PANEL A: Sales clerk is dressing a female mannequin in blue cargo capris and a white crocheted sleeveless top. A fat lady on her cell phone strolls in.
Sales Clerk: Welcome to Beverly’s!
I’m Shelby. Please let me know if you need help finding anything.
PANEL B: Fat Lady strolls over to a row of summer dresses and holds one up, examining it as she cradles her cell phone between her neck and her right shoulder, still talking.
Fat Lady: Um, Shelly? Shelby? Do you have this in XXL (holding up a pink striped A-line summer dress with a small pink bow on the lower right waistline)?
Sales Clerk: I think we do. Just a sec, let me check in the back.
PANEL C: Little blond girl with a white headband, wearing a green and white polka dot summer dress comes running into the store and up to the cashier.
Little Girl: Have you seen my Mom?
Cashier: Your Mom?!
Little Girl: Yes! I can’t find my Mom!
PANEL D: Little girl looks up at the cashier then bursts out crying.
Little Girl: I…I…was looking at the fish…in the aquarium (she points towards the pet store next door)…and then when I tried to find my Mommy…she was gone.
Cashier: Ok, ok. Let’s see if we can find her. Do you remember what your Mom was wearing? Can you tell me what she looks like?
PANEL E: Same scene
Little Girl: My Mom is really fat but she’s pretty, too. She’s got long blond curly hair…like mine.
Cashier: That’s good, honey. Now, can you remember what she’s wearing?
Little Girl: Umm…she’s wearing…jeans, I guess. And a shirt. A yellow shirt.
PANEL F: The fat lady abruptly stops talking, looks around and is alarmed as she realizes that her daughter is missing. The phone falls to the ground with a whack but she doesn’t notice. She is frantically rushing from aisle to aisle yelling her daughter’s name.
PAGE 2
PANEL G: The little girl and the cashier approach the sales clerk who is returning from the back with the dress the fat lady had inquired about.
Sales Clerk: Well, well! Who do we have here?
Cashier: Shelby, please. This is no time for jokes. She lost her Mom. Have you seen a fat..?
Little Girl: There she is! Mom! Mom!
PANEL H: The little girl runs into her mother’s arms. Her mother snatches her up and showers her with kisses.
Fat Lady: Melinda! Oh Melinda, I thought I’d never see you again!
PANEL I: The fat Lady turns towards the cashier.
Fat Lady: Where did you find her? Where did you find my baby?
Cashier: Actually, she found me. She…
Fat Lady: It doesn’t matter. I’m just happy that my baby is ok. Thank you so much. I’ll never be able to repay you.
PANEL J: The fat lady takes her daughter’s hand and heads towards the exit.
Sales Clerk: Umm, excuse me but—the dress you asked for—we have it in your size.
Fat Lady: Oh, um, sorry, but I wont be needing that anymore.
PANEL K: The sales clerk rolls her eyes, throws the dress at the cashier, and heads towards the employees lounge.
Sales Clerk: That’s it! I’m on break. Ain’t nobody buying anything anyway. We may as well close the damn store.
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Great visuals here--I can see the dress, the 'fat lady,' the store, even the way she's holding the phone, very clearly. I can easily imagine an artist working from this. There might be potential still (in the sense that it's still a bit underdeveloped) in the last moments: I'm not sure why she doesn't want the dress at the end, and I'm not sure at the sales clerks reaction (is she upset at the ingratitude)? Seems like there's more there to explore, a bit more dynamic between the two of them, to clarify and to put a final point on the piece.
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