July 6, in the morning (1812 ?)
My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that in pencil…can our love endure without sacrifices, by not demanding everything from one another; can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly yours… Oh God, look at nature in all her beauty and calm your heart with that which must be - Love demands all and rightly so - thus it is for me with you, for you with me - But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel this pain as little as I do…No doubt we shall meet soon; and today also time prevents me from sharing with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days about my life - If our hearts were always closely united, I would entertain no such thoughts. My heart is full of so many things to tell you - oh - there are moments when I feel that speech is quite inadequate - Be cheerful - remain my faithful, one and only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be –
His music aroused such passion as to be dangerous. Some thought it obscene and unsuitable for the young.
June, 19, 1817
Everywhere I am abominably treated and am the prey of detestable people-my own misery had made me feel depressed-my expenses are great… I can compose very little…my earnings are meager…I am writing you very frankly, my dearest Countess, but precisely on that account you will not misunderstand me. Nevertheless I need nothing and would certainly accept nothing form you.
Evening, Monday, July 6 (1812?)
You are suffering, you, my most precious one - I have noticed this very moment that letters must be posted very early on Monday - or on Thursday - the only days when the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Oh, where I am, you are with me - I will see to it that you and I, that I can live with you. What a life!!!! as it is now!!!! without you - pursued by the kindness of people here and there, a kindness that I think - that I wish to deserve just as little as I deserve it - man's homage to man - that pains me - and when I consider myself in the setting of the universe, what am I and what is that man - whom one calls the greatest of men - and yet - on the other hand therein lies the divine element in man - I weep when I consider that you will probably not receive the first news of me until Saturday - However much you love me - my love for you is even greater - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to sleep - Dear God - so near! So far! Is not our love truly founded in heaven - and what is more, as strongly cemented as the firmament of heaven? –
You threw out my music. You and this foul slut you call a wife.
Summer 1817
Please give the blankets to the bearer of this letter, but don’t listen to the gossip, for that fellow is not to be trusted-and please also be so kind as to see that the washerwoman delivers the laundry on Sunday at latest...Don’t draw any conclusions about my opinions in general from the chatter of bad servants-…
I cannot hear them but I know they are making a hash of it. Music is an ungrateful thing. What is it? I don’t understand it. What does it do? It is the power of music to carry one directly to the state of the composer. The listener has no choice…It is like hypnotism.
Good morning, on July 7
Even though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear our prayer - To face life I must live altogether with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to be a wanderer abroad until I can fly to your arms and say that I have found my true home, and enfolded in your arms can let my soul be wafted to the realm of blessed spirits - alas, unhappily it must be so - You will become composed, the more so as you know that I am faithful to you; No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be separated from her who is so dear. Yet my life in V at present is a miserable life - Your love has made me the happiest and the unhappiest of mortals - At my age I need stability and regularity in my life - can that coexist with our relationship? - Angel, I have just heard that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm; for only by calm consideration of our lives can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - Today - yesterday - what tearful longing for you - for you - you - my life - my all - all good wishes to you. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your lover.
ever yours
ever mine
ever ours
L.
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Wonderful topic, wonderful source. It's difficult for me, at least, to get a handle on what this particular found text (all of which seems to be from the letters, no?) when not mixed with any other found text, nor really reset into a new context, recasts or illuminates about the letters themselves, or tells us that the letters already don't. That is, how is the reader's experience here different than their experience of the letters, apart from brevity? Might be interesting if, in one way or another, you used the letters to give us yet another portrait of Beethoven, one which we hadn't expected, hadn't seen before, but which might not be on the surface of the letters.
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